Twenty-five years ago, as a new mother trying to figure out what kind of mom I wanted to be, I went in search of books to guide me. I hoped to find some wise mothering mentors who could shine a light on the path at my feet and say, “Here, follow me, come this way.”
Looking back on those days now, I realize how much things have changed. Back then, there were no cell phones, the word “text” referred to print on a paper page, and news of the world arrived via the newspaper that landed on our doorstep each morning.
We bought our first computer in 1990, when Henry was three months old, so I could begin working from home at my new job editing The Best American Short Stories. My Apple IICX could run two programs at once, Clarisworks and Filemaker Pro, which meant I could do word-processing (an outdated phrase if every there was!) and keep a database of my two hundred-plus magazine subscriptions. I dialed in for an internet connection, kept all my reading notes on file cards, and corresponded with authors and friends through the mail.
There were no blogs to read or online parenting forums to join, there was no Amazon to browse nor any algorithm recommending books for me to buy, there was no Facebook. My husband took photos of our new baby boy with his 3-pound Nikon, we dropped the rolls of film off at CVS, and then carefully placed our 4 x 6 prints into a photo album, sending dupes off to the grandparents.
It all seems pretty quaint in retrospect, so innocent and simple. But at the time, working and raising children and trying to do it all and have it all and give it all to them, I still sensed that life was moving too fast. Much as I yearned for less pressure and more fun, my days were spent juggling: too much stuff, too many choices, too many obligations, never enough time.
We had a second son, and I kept on searching in the pages of books for a mothering soul mate, a friend with whom to share this challenging, rewarding journey.
I found plenty of expert advice on what my children should be doing at three months, six months, a year, and onward – there was no shortage of information about discipline, developmental milestones, feeding, crying, childhood illnesses, and separation anxiety. Although I renewed my subscription to Mothering magazine, the articles made me more uncertain, as if I’d already failed my children the moment I gave up on cloth diapers or bought baby food off the grocery store shelf rather than pureeing my own organic carrots. I found inspiration in Polly Berrien Berends’ timeless classic Whole Child/Whole Parent and some profoundly wise counter-cultural enlightenment in Joseph Chilton Pearce’s Magical Child.
But the calm, kind, older and wiser friend I was yearning for never did appear.
Finding my way forward, reading the works of Thomas Moore (especially Care of the Soul and The Re-Enchantment of Everyday Life), I began to grow as both a person and a mother. And I began to write my own version of the book I so wanted to read myself, with the idea that the living and writing would feed each other and that perhaps, deep down, I already knew more than I thought I did.
Last week, I opened an envelope containing a royalty payment for Mitten Strings for God: Reflections for Mothers in a Hurry. These modest checks have arrived steadily, twice a year, for fifteen years.
It is one of the great surprises and joys of my life that this small, personal book inspired so long ago by my own everyday life with my two young children continues to find its way in the world even now, speaking to parents in nine languages and to a whole new generation of families across the globe. My two sons are grown, 23 and nearly 26. But hardly a week goes by when I don’t hear from a mother somewhere who has read Mitten Strings and discovered a sense of kinship with my yearning, seeking younger self.
And over time, I’ve come to see that although the world is far more complicated than it was in 2000 when Mitten Strings was published, the ideas contained within its pages are timeless and universal. We can all use reminders to pause and pay attention to the invisible and the ineffable. We all need support when we choose to put quiet time or family time first. And it helps to know we aren’t alone in our longings for peace, intimate connection, and simple pleasures.
Fortunately for today’s families, there are now many wonderful books to support parents who wish to create soulful alternatives to lives that have become over-scheduled, over-stuffed, over-stressed, and over-shared.
I keep a small shelf full of the best of these titles. These thoughtful, courageous writers are the kinds of friends I longed for at the start of my mothering journey. But even now, as I find new ways to stay close to my adult children, I find much to ponder in these pages and lots of practical wisdom to help us all negotiate the day-to-day challenges of our media-saturated, attention-deprived, perfection-obsessed world.
And so to that end, I offer this short, idiosyncratic reading list of Best Books for Mindful Parents. Each of these books goes beyond the realm of childhood and parenthood; they speak to our human-being-hood. So, treat yourself to some new friends. Or, wrap up some Christmas shopping here. The parents (and the children) in your life will thank you.
by Kim John Payne
If you are raising children in these anxious times, you need this book. (How I wish it had been around when my own sons were little!) It will inspire you, reassure you, and, most important of all, it will remind you that less is more, that simplicity trumps complication, that rhythm and routine bring peace to the soul. In this profound and practical guide, Kim John Payne offers parents a doable, step-by-step approach to simplifying everyday family life, from the toy box to the dinner table. In the process, he reveals the rewards to be found in slowing down, savoring our children’s childhoods, and more fully enjoying our own adult lives. Kim Payne makes such a compelling case for simplifying, streamlining, and scaling back that I think of Simplicity Parenting as a kind of manifesto for the preservation of childhood. I give this book as a gift, more than any other, to all the young families I know.
It is never “too late” to bring inspiration and attention to the flow of family life Parents of young children will find many seeds here to plant toward a family life that continues to protect and nurture as children grow. But every stage in a family’s evolution can benefit from a little more space and grace, a little less speed and clutter.
by Galit Breen
For better and for worse, we live in a wired world. Galit Breen has written an indispensable manual of online manners for 21st century parents and their kids. With compassion, humor, insight, and practical wisdom born of some painful firsthand experiences, Galit makes a compelling case for kindness and decency. What would happen if every parent and child in American could read these ten simple rules, learn them by heart, and employ them every time they go online? The world would change dramatically – for the good of us all.
I have a theory that deep down inside, just like we’re all inherently good, we also already know what’s right. But sometimes this knowing gets muddled. Our online lives start with peeking at people from behind the safety net of an edited and filtered avatar, which can make it even harder to remember what we all know to be true: Kindness Wins.
Hands Free Mama & Hands Free Life
by Rachel Macy Stafford
Five years ago, special ed teacher and Type A, task-driven mom Rachel Macy Stafford had an ah-ha moment. Exhausted, frustrated, distracted and distraught, she decided she was done – done with racing through her own life and done with saying “Hurry up” to her “laid-back, carefree, stop-and-smell-the-roses” little girl. She started a blog to chronicle her daily struggles to be fully present and reweave her relationships with her husband and daughters. Pretty soon, Rachel was attracting a million online visitors a month. Her life-changing, hands-free journey resulted in a not-so-small parenting revolution and two best-selling books.
Hands Free Mama is “a guide to putting down the phone, burning the to-do list, and letting go of perfection to grasp what really matters.” Her newest book, Hands Free Life offers nine essential habits for “overcoming distraction, living better, and loving more.”
Rachel is the kind of mom friend we’d all like to have living next door, gentle and self-effacing, generous and wise. Well, we can’t invite her over for coffee but we can join her in the choice to let go of distraction and perfection to embrace what really matters. I think of both books as wake-up calls for anyone who wishes to parent more thoughtfully, love more generously, and live more meaningfully.
Today there might be mismatched socks. There might be not-so-healthy food choices. There might be messes, bulges, and fine lines where I don’t want them to be. But today I will be at peace with my less-than-perfect body and my less-than-perfect life. I refuse to waste precious time or hurt precious people (including myself) in my unachievable pursuit of perfection. After all, love doesn’t have to be perfect to be nurturing or nourishing.
by Lucy Jo Palladine, PhD
Are your kids glued to their screens? Are you?
This book has haunted me for months. It also woke me up, not only to the ways technology is rearranging the landscape of childhood, but also to the way it’s slowly but surely reshaped the contours of my own life. New technology finds its way into our homes even faster than we can begin to comprehend its effects on our families. In ways large and small, it’s changing the texture of our daily lives and the ways we relate to each other.
Lucy Jo Palladino doesn’t demonize technology – it’s here to stay and none of us really wants it otherwise. But she does give us the solutions we need to use it more thoughtfully. This practical, step-by-step guide is firmly grounded in science and the latest research, interspersed with compelling stories and firsthand experience.
You will learn a lot in these pages about how your own brain works and how your child’s brain is developing. And you will come away empowered, with the tools you need to help you regain control of your own technology use and teach your children – from toddlers to teens — how to understand and control their attention, and to realize when their attention is being “snatched.”
I cannot recommend this book highly enough. We owe it to ourselves and to our children to understand how the screens in our hands are altering our most intimate relationships, redirecting our attention, dictating our habits, and transforming our brains.
As we watch technology give rise to a new set of attention problems, we, as parents, need to do something that parents in past decades didn’t have to think about: we need to help our children learn how to resist the distraction their technology creates.
The Parents Tao te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents
by William Martin
To my mind, no booklist for parents is complete if it doesn’t include this exquisite reminder of what really matters in our daily lives with our children: awe and wonder, gratitude and presence. William Martin’s loose, loving, freshly interpreted rendition of Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching distills the essence of that sacred text into accessible, heartfelt wisdom for parents. Here are 81 short chapters – each one only a page long — that seem to become deeper and more meaningful with each successive reading. It is a perfect gift for new parents, a helping hand to offer to parents who are struggling, and a lifelong guide to encourage each one of us remember that we can teach only by example and that as we devote ourselves to raising our children we are also, in fact, raising ourselves.
Live your own life
with all your heart,
with all your mind,
and with all your soul.
There is no need to live theirs.
They will do that wonderfully
by themselves.
holiday give-away
I have copies of each of Rachel Macy Stafford’s inspiring books, Hands Free Mama and Hands Free Life, to give away to one lucky reader, along with a signed copy of my own Mitten Strings for God. To enter to win all three books, just leave a comment below. Answer the question (one that’s on all our minds this season, yes?): How do you create moments of stillness in your daily life with your loved ones?
Feeling shy, or too frazzled to respond? You can simply say, “count me in.” I’ll choose a winner at random after entries close at midnight on Dec. 19. (US and Canada only.) Good luck!
Want to read these books now? Or tuck them into someone else’s Christmas stocking? You can order any of them by clicking on the hyper-linked titles above. (These are Amazon affiliate links.)
oh Count me in!! I would love to win one of these wonderful books!
Happy Holidays!
CKP
Katrina,
You have been a “friend” since I lost my sister to horrible cancer 5 years ago. I wish we were neighbors… I adore you. Hoping you are healing, feeling healthy enough to enjoy the holidays. I will send this list to my nephew who is a brand new dad. And if i win it, i will give it to he and his beautiful girlfriend. Love and Peace.
Me! Me! Me! Count me in! 🙂
As a working mom of three it’s hard to make moments. I try to take advantage of the moments that come up. If you look for them they are there. That extra hug, smile or word keeps me full.
I am listening to you read “Magical Journey” on Audible. Your voice and your thoughts are so soothing. This is my second reading and I listen to a bit each day while knitting. I also practice yoga and meditation. I am trying to keep Christmas simple and meaningful. It is difficult. Your books speak to me and I have read them all. Looking forward to a new collaboration I saw on Mediations from the Mat.
I so enjoy your posts, whatever the subject, Katrina. I am a woman approaching her 80th year, but I remember distinctly the book that brought me comfort & sanity the year my first son was born, 1956; Anne Morrow Lindberg’s “Gift from the Sea”.
If you have not read it, I would love to know what wisdom you might find for yourself. It was a book that was, and is, a treasure!
Please enter me in this giveaway; it’s never too late to learn…and I would pass them on, should I win. thank you!
Count me in.
thank you for the “attention snatchers” recommendation, it is something i have been thinking a lot about lately, trying to guide my son into using the machine as a tool, instead of being used by it.
Count me in!
Great list and full of inspiration — thank you! I create stillness by remembering to breathe & be grateful for the many blessings in my life. And then I forget and remember again, and again.
Count me in! 😃 During the holiday season our family has the tradition of reading a Christmas book each evening for the month of December. It’s a tradition we started about ten years ago and it has become a family favorite. One that requires no coaxing on my behalf. I have three boys and you know the eye rolling that can occur when their mother is forcing them to participate in “quality” time together. The evening Christmas book readings provide all of us a chance to break away from the “busy” of the day and focus on “calm” for a few minutes.
Count me in..love your books and would love to add these to my library.As a parent of three children and a preschool teacher, I struggle daily with staying present and have screen free time for all of us to connevt.
COUNT ME IN!!!
oh please count me in!
Count me in!!😊
thank you for helping me create my wish list of titles to share with my husband and kids. I love your books and will happily read anything you recommend.
moments of stillness are hard to come by but happen most often in the morning, cuddling before we get up and start the day.
I
Oh how I wish I had done some things better? Differently? Count me in for inspiration.
Awesome list! Thanks for sharing! Wouldn’t mind my own copy, yes, please!
My son and daughter in law just announced they are expecting their
second child in June, any of the books you mentioned would be great gifts.
At the Christmas dinner table I have everyone state 2 wishes they have for the new
year and it can’t be about money and I will ask them your question and see if
I get any responses I can pass on to you.
Merry Christmas, I love hearing from you, you are that quiet friend that just appears
when I need your calming way.
Count me in!
I put my phone/device away. In another room. At least part of the time.
I was gifted The Gift of an Ordinary Day a few years ago for my birthday by my then mother-in-law.
We have not been officially ” in laws” for more than 5 years now, but I am pleased to say that today, I spent an ordinary day with my former in-laws and my ex partner, and it was lovely.
Count me in! And as an early childhood parent educator in Minnesota and I have read countless parenting books in the past 28 years, I want to share the book that has impacted my thinking and my teaching the most profoundly. The heart of the book is about the need for attachment and connection with your children, Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More that Peers by Gordon Neufield and Gabor Mate. It is not an easy read but a very profound one.
Count me in! One favorite moment of stillness in my daily life that I treasure is the daily drive to and from school with my son. During the twenty minutes we listen to NPR, comment occasionally on the latest news, and each share stories about our day. While I treasure hearing what my son chooses to share with me, I also value the moments of silence when we each sit with our own private thoughts each completely comfortable in the presence of the other.
Thank you for this generous and exquisite offering. A few ways I create moments of stillness and connection with my beloveds is through simple, sacred blessings (before a meal and bedtime) and physical affection (hand holding, cuddles, hugs). Happy holidays to all!
It takes serious intentionality to put down my devices with lists, plans, obligations and responses to important matters, but I am striving to make my people the most important part of each day.
Count me in!
I try to remember to breathe. So obvious, I know, but in that breath I often find a calm space inside regardless of what’s going on around me. Then I have a chance of bringing the better person, the more present one aware of my own caring, to the scene. And gratitude helps so much too. And surrender. oh gosh. How fun it is you’ve asked us all this. Thank you for helping us be aware. For the great gift your words are.
We actually have moments of activity in our household, but in a way it’s a stillness from the video games, computers and cell phones — we play family games. I have three sons and discovered Mitten Strings for God when my first two were four and one years old. Been a devoted follower since then!!! (My oldest are now 24 and 21– very close to your sons’ ages). My youngest is now 15 so, of course, I am still reading every parenting book. Please count me in! I would love to gift Mitten strings for God to a neighbor who has two precious boys of her own — two and 6 months.
Thank you for the opportunity.
I read with my kids. If we’re up early in the morning, we read then, especially during Advent when we unwrap a book each day as part of our Advent calendar. If not, there are bedtime stories. My kids snuggle in, the fire flickers, and we are close and together (most days).
My oldest is 17. I think I first read Mitten Strings when he was 3. It was perfect. Things were so much more simple, even then. I now have a 6 year old as well. I have thought of reading Mitten Strings again. Honestly I would appreciate the Hands Free books as well. Times are so different in such a short time. (From the time my oldest was little to now with my youngest). I long for the simpler times with less technology.
Ever since I read your books, The Gift of an Ordinary Day and Magical Journey an
apprenticement in contentment, I have been hooked. I never read Mitten Strings for God. My children are now 24 and 27. I quit my job as a public school Art teacher to be home with my children because my commute was an hour and fifteen minutes each way. I am so glad I made that decision. Now my niece is the mother of a beautiful six month old. I would love to give her your book.
I hope that you are feeling better and wish you and your family the gift of love, joy, and the gift of good health this holiday season. Count me in.
When my daughters come home from college and are busy seeing friends and such, I ask them if they want to go for a drive down to the beach – only a few minutes away. We end up watching the sky and talking a bit, and then things just naturally slow down a bit. It’s nice to just listen. Thank you for your posts!
Count me in too! I have been following you for about six months. To answer your question, well, to get away from the craziness of my daily life and create a moment of stillness with my loved ones, I go to the beautiful forest about 30 minutes’ drive from our house and have long walks to get that feeling of togetherness, connect with nature and feel in a different world.
I try to create stillness with my family by insisting that we all eat dinner together with no electronic devices on. This is relatively easy now because my children are still young, but I am adamant about preserving this simple tradition through the years. I would be thrilled to win all three books-I loved Mitten Strings, and I’ve been dying to get my hands on a copy of Rachel’s books.
Count me in! My daughter and I go for a walk together to connect.
Mitten Strings changed me and it helped to make me the mother I am today.
Count me in! I would love to share the books with the families of toddlers I see every week at school. I read Mitten Strings many years ago and enjoy sharing it and reading your blog, Thanks
Mitten Strings is one of my very favorite books on motherhood! I reference it and recommend it often! Would love to read the Hands Free books… I’ve heard great things about them.
Count me in. Thank you!!
My three little ones are very little: 6 years, 3 years, and 8 months. One of my favorite ways to create both stillness and closeness is to simply sit down in the middle of the living room floor and let them come and go around me. The oldest brings me his drawings to share, the middle one brings me books to read to him, and the baby crawls all over me before venturing out to explore again. Whether it’s for five minutes or an hour, it’s a wonderful way to spend our time together.
Count me in!…thanks for making it easy for us tired mamas out there ;).
I love your blog and books. I have all of them. I am a grandma of 10 grandchildren and I love to create stillness and closeness by one on one days with each child. It doesn’t really matter what we do, just that it’s our special day together. Love love these days!
Thank you for all you share with us!
On my daily hike with my dogs there is a place on a dirt hillside where I’ve placed a different rock for each of my beloved pets who have passed. Only I know which rock is for which dear old friend – the black one with the stripes for Tiger, the white one for Storm, and so on. The rocks are in the sunshine, and I touch each rock for a second or two, remembering each dear face and feeling “their” warmth. That’s a precious moment of stillness, until I turn back to my current dogs and the movement of my body –
I think taking advantage of small moments is wonderful as not everyone is ready for “stillness” at the same time. I had the best luck when reading to both kids before bed.
Count me in!
Two of my favorite ways to connect with my kiddos are snuggling in bed and playing music together and singing. Now that my kids are 17, 14 and 11 there isn’t much room in the bed for everyone but we all squish together, giggle and talk. Our musical pieces are becoming more full as they learn harmonies and learn to listen for each other’s cues. I am savoring every moment as this teen time goes by so quickly.
Count me in! My trick has been getting down to floor level with my kids, sitting on the floor and connecting over a game of book … Quiet peaceful moments usually!
I tell myself I am not in a hurry. I stop what I am doing, drop what I am holding, and sit down with a book. The world stands still. I love these moments.
Hope you are well….and please COUNT ME IN!!
Katrina …..you are an inspiration to me in every way.! Please “count me in”.!
Love & Blessings.!
Please count me in and thank you for all you do!!💚💜😘
Please count me in, Katrina. And I would love your recommendation of books to help stay connected to adult children, especially when they live far away. Xo
I give up my electronics for a week each time that I start to notice them taking over my life! Very excited for the Attention Snatchers book! My kids are just getting to the age where they will want a tablet for themselves. Need to order that book quickly! Thanks for entering me in the contest.
Please count me in! After having your book Mitten Strings and your latest one too, for me, the books resonate
With simplicity and a trove of wisdom on how we deal with our lives. I am so glad my husband and my little boy then found your book. Please take care!
Eileen
The Gift of an Ordinary Day is one I give to myself everyday…Carpe Diem!
Thank you.
Best wishes for a happy and healthy 2016!
Count me in! I focus on the moment by taking a conscious deep breath periodically throughout the day, whenever I remember, and then focusing on what I see, hear, feel in that moment. Also, try to find three things to be grateful for before I fall asleep at night.
Count me in! I am really struggling balancing life with a 2 year old and 10 week old, so could do with some advice to help me let go of expectations and just enjoy my two beautiful boys! In the moments where I do feel som calm, I find stillness with my 2 year old when we read a bedtime story or play with the Lego!
Stillness comes from the inside that blooms to outward appreciation…
I am grateful that breathing- pausing -praising can come any time I turn to my spirit core !
Listening, Loving, and Learning is my daily practice for being present in the moment.
I get to guide young children as my calling in life and they get to remind me that my child is value able too.
I believe the books would support me in giving a cool drink to the parenting population I serve…
Count me in! Thank you.
Katrina, I have never been a mother of children, but I am now a mother of a new puppy. The love of my life. i am learning so much about life from her. She has taught me to wake up with a smile everyday, to notice everything, and to slow down. She is snuggled beside me right now. : )
I would love to be counted in. As a mother of two boys, too, life was challenging in so many ways. And, now, with grandchildren and a totally new set of mountains to climb, we get to go it anew. For the little ones, we try to keep our house calm and spend as much time out of doors as possible. For their parents, we try to be as supportive and encouraging as possible and then “get out of the way” with a smile and a hug. Thank you so much for your words and suggestions!
count. me. in. pretty please
Thank you Katrina, your blog is always on point. As for creating moments of stillness, I take advice from you and try to bring a rhythm and routine to our daily life. The evening meal has a sense of closure, and allows for discussion of the day. My boys are still little, and in lieu of saying grace, we sing a song before we eat. It’s a fun way to evoke the sacred into our meal while teaching gratitude for it.
Count me in! Thanks!
Count me in!
Please! Count me in!
As a ” Grammy” of four beautiful children, I realize now more than ever how quickly time passes. I try to cherish every single moment. Looking back often at the volumes of photos I have collected (also from CVS, but now at the kiosk from my smart phone) helps me really slow down and enjoy every experience again and again! Thank you for the reminder!!
“….pockets of stillness, sips of silence, moments of joy and someone to smile for.”…I think that would be a beautiful blessing for each day. Thank you for this gift.
You touch my heart heart in so many ways.
I creat moments of stillness ( well not exactly stillness, but joy) just being in the presence of my 2 and 1/2 year old twin grandsons. Unlike the busy times, and to do lists, when raising my own sons, being Nana – crawling around on the floor, playing outside, revisiting nature from a children’s view, watching and teaching them something new, and so much more. All I can describe it as is , a joy in my heart!
May you have blessings this holiday season, and in 2016!
Please count me in for the drawing
Katrina – my daughter is expecting her first child – a son – in April. I asked her what books she and her husband are ready to prepare – and she says there are apps for that. Yesterday I went to Barnes and Noble to shop for those big picture books I had 30 years go. I thought it was both educational and bonding to be in bed with my husband and flip through pages together – trying to visualize what was happening in my body and how we were going to handle the birth. I bought 4 books…. So count me in! As for my own quiet time – after recently retiring and moving to Charleston – I have taken up yoga and long walks on the beach! I am also spending time reconnecting with old friends! Happy holidays!
Count me in!
As I read, The gift of an ordinary day, my life changed about 4 years ago. Life is busy as a mom of four…two boys, two girls…9,7,4,2. I have learned to enjoy more and let myself off the hook. There will be a season for this and that…those opportunities presented now will be there later or different ones will arise. I would love to be enriched from these books. So! Thank for considering me. You are a blessing to me.
Me too! Count me in! Thank you!
Thanks for sharing your list!
Count me in!
Count me in! I’m a thrilled first-time grandma of a 10-month-old boy who remembers buying Mittens… for my 4 best college girlfriends about 10 years ago. I remember in the late eighties, with two young ones, scanning Working Mother magazine monthly looking for all the answers. Today, I take deep breaths, smile and sing.
I really try to keep the dinner hour sacred. We eat together almost every night and talk about our day, etc. Even though my youngest is 7, I ordered Mitten Strings last year. Thank you! I love your writing and the messages you convey. Merry Christmas!
Really, the only way I have discovered to create moments of stillness with my husband and family is to be sure I have created moments of stillness for just me, myself and I! I used to feel self-serving and guilty to take off an hour or an afternoon, a day or even a few minutes to do something just for me; however, over time I’ve found I return from the chosen activity feeling renewed and able to focus on the people in my life that bring so much joy (and even have gratitude for those who don’t). I read “Mitten” many years ago (my kids are 28/26) and rediscovered your writing through the blog in this past year. So glad we have reconnected.
Count me in! I love sharing your books as gifts and this list of new titles is a wonderful gift, too!
Beautiful pic of you and your son. Focuses the mind on how quickly time passes and its preciousness. Your writing is clear and touching as always. best wishes,
Murali
My youngest is 14 now. Yesterday she was small. I was too. I was so involved in trying to get them out the door….in a hurry….that I didn’t stop to look at them. Today, I look. I stop. I see her growing. I can see the microscopic changes day to day in her face, her legs, her fingers. I look at how beautiful she is. I tell her. I hug her. When she doesn’t want to, I say, “come on give me a 10-second hug.” It’s not that hard to count to ten – it makes all the difference in our day.
I’m thinking of our aunt Marie and how she was able to raise two daughters back in the age of “simplicity” — after her schizophrenic husband disappeared when they were tiny, when she had to get a 8-5 job as a bookkeeper (and trained men who made a lot more money than she did), when there was no proper childcare other than the lady down the street nor any welfare programs, when the Depression hit, when one of her daughters disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle and the other daughter’s car was hit causing her to be a paraplegic. How in the world did she do it? She had no how-to books other than perhaps Dr. Spock from the 1950s. But after 103 years (I’ll be biking over to her birthday party today) she’s still vibrant and always has a smile on her face. Katrina, I simply love your blogs :))
Hi Katrina! Thank you for this timely list. My niece, who is most Ike a daughter to me, just had her first child and I am grateful for your insights into books to share with her and her wonderful husband. May you healing journey be filled with ease and your holidays be joyous. <3 Tobey
oh, sigh……i so wish i had had this list when i felt so all alone, finding my way by heart. thank god, i had one close friend and then one other who seemed to be following the untrodden path. what’s most breathtaking as i scroll through your list is how emphatically i want to turn and share this with mothers i love who are just beginning the journey. i want to hand them this blessed stack, wrapped in velvety papers, and say, these hold the truth, these are treasures. even more than i wish i had had them, i wish — going forward — all the newborn mamas of particular sensibility might have them. so they might feel not so alone.
and one last thing: as i read that your royalty check comes in faithfully year after year i thought how the book itself, and all it holds, is yet another mitten string that holds so many of us mamas together. for that, thank you. for everything, thank you.
hope you are feeling sprightly. i think round two might be coming….
blessings, abundantly of course. xox
I am trying to be more aware of those moments of stillness….
I haven’t figured out how to find the moments of stillness yet. I try for just a deep breath and a pause at the moment, but hopefully some of these books can help. If i have time to read them. Someone mentioned audio books, I think I need to look into those. Thanks for the recommendations!
Your posts always inspire and I’m looking forward to checking out your book choices as well. Moments of stillness with loved ones happen with a spontaneous hug (the dog usually pushing in between our legs like the toddlers used to do), a car ride where we’re all trapped together without our devices, or in shutting down the house and heading up to bed. We catch ’em where we can and are grateful when they happen.
I read Magical Journey this summer by the community pool and cried and cried. It has been a companion since. I read your letter to yourself every morning and at night I read the poem “Whatever Doesn’t Serve” by Danna Faulds because both speak to my soul. Perfect bookends to my days. Thank you for the gift of your writing. It has enriched my life. xx-holly
I am trying to let what wants to happen next, happen as it unfolds instead of constantly trying to plan and “make” a certain outcome. Those moments that just happen always end up being the most precious. Life should be as simple and serene as possible and if I remember that, it all happens it the most amazing way.
Love reading your books and posts. I take my dog, Gracie for a walk every day for some quiet time alone. My daughter is 16 now and we spend some quiet moments together in the car and at the end of the day at bedtime. Often then she will share a funny story or something she is concerned about. I sure do miss those early days together. Would lvoe to read the books mentioned and share them. Merry Christmas!!
Count me in. I’ve always wanted to read all these books!
Count me in! The best still moments in my house involve messy kitchens.
It seems once we are parents, we are parents til the end. Always room for new learning even when the children are adults. . . and if we are blessed the lessons learned might help us with the next generation. Always love your posts Katrina, thank you for opening your heart on the page. Merry Christmas!
What a beautiful gift you are offering! And thank you for sharing those titles. The older my boys become (now 17 and 14) the more intentional I find I need to be to create moments of stillness. My thinking mind says, “more family dinners, more bedtime and after school chats, etc.” – and on a good day, those things happen. That said, what I KNOW works is laughter. The sillier I am (belting out one of their favorite songs and purposely messing up the lyrics, doing my best “reindeer imitation” in the middle of trying to get out the door in the morning…the more embarrassing the better:). Those are the moments that stand still for us. Everything stops and I get to see those beautiful smiles for a minute or two.
I’m very new and this is only my second reading of your blog…yet I feel blessed t have found this place , a gift for me . I am awaiting my first surgery of life, a hip replacement
Next month and am scared and felling about 55 going on 85 :-/
Our three children are now all successfully launching into adulthood in their early 20’s.
The youngest graduating today in a few hours! Here are our long fought for, often frowned upon efforts that are now their habits for stillness in each of their days from when they were toddler through to even this morning as we ready for that long awaited ceremony.
*Baby-toddlerhood-, a bowed head and moment f breath before daily dinner…&
looking together at nature photography books before bed
* elementary ages- deep breath and quiet before daily family dinner grace and ” Rose & Thorns share time : what were your bright spots each day, what were challenges.
*highschool: same quiet time before dinner, even if only Sunday dinner, same as above,
Family Nature outings, and camping trips, unplugged-off grid 1 weekend per month, continued family quiet and grace before dinner, and rose n thorns time of reflection.
Now that they are all launching on their own, they initiate all the above, with us….and they have even mentioned that they follow a similar pattern for opening dialogues (rose and thorns) with their girlfriends or boyfriends ? And, best of all every Sunday evening in their own scheduled lives continues to be off the grid, unplugged time, with regular nature breaks alone, with us , or a friend.
Thanks , I would love to read your books, and sounds like they would have been a dear companion during my early mom years……thanks for the opportunity to reflect.
All these perspective are still so relevant to our lives despite the different stages of being, ourselves as moms.
Wonderful list. With the craziness of the season, I try to parent “slowly”, doing my best to make time when they come to me with a book in hand, maintaining our nightly routine, even if the hour is a little later than usual, and saying “no” to too many invites. Wishing you a peaceful Holiday with your family!
Please count me in as well. Katrina, I treasure your thoughts and wisdom. Peace and happiness!
Thank you so much for your thoughts, experiences and for your willingness to share them with all of us. You have been such an important influence in my life and journey as a mother. I think about your writings in Mitten Strings on a daily basis and do my best to put into practice those concepts.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Wishing you good health, love and connection always
Snuggle time — at morning wake up, nap wake up, and bedtime. I more physically needed during those moments than the rest of the day, and always make sure to be mentally present too. I hear the best and sweetest thoughts from my boys during those moments between awake and asleep, I don’t want to miss a second! I’m grateful for your wisdom, Katrina – thank you!
Why US and Canada only ? 🙁
How about an ebook give-away to the rest of the “step”-world 😉
Count me in! I have been reading your books a bit out of order, starting with Ordinary Day, then Magical Journey. And haven’t quite made it yet to Mitten Strings. Which is funny because that’s exactly where I am in my life. I’m a mother of 3 young, very busy boys and struggle daily to truly be present with them, but I try! I first heard of you in a yoga class (which is rare these days!) where the teacher read a quote from one of your books. I felt drawn to you and do feel you have been that wise mother and woman I was unknowingly searching for to guide me on this journey. I truly thank you for that.
Count me in!
I would welcome the chance to read all of these in the quiet,slow time that usually follows the frenetic,holiday season. I have read Mitten Strings but it was a while ago so a reread would be nice. Thank you for the offer.
I see my daughter-in-law overcome with the stress of parenting and running their own business. The tv news and electronic jungle are making the family jumpy. She knows it’s not healthy, and now my grandson was just diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. My little Molly, age 6, is suddenly having anxiety issues, and it breaks my heart to see them struggling through this complicated part of their lives.
If I could make it better, your books might help. Thanks
Being a mom of 3 girls with a full time job is hard … Hispanic mom … away from my country but very blessed to have a great family ..
It’s such a relief for me to read your blog… its calming …
I always wanted a parenting guide, something that could make me feel connected to other moms like me.
We are not perfect but we have an honorable mission… raise our babies ….
Hello. I am new to your site but look forward with anticipation for each of your posts. Having parented in a similar time that you did and now at a similar stage of life I relate to so much of what you put so beautifully, into words. I too spent my earlier parenting years searching for parenting books that supported me in that very important role.Now my daughter and son in-law are parenting a most delightful little one year old. I would love to share with them both your books and the parenting book list you have put together as they go forward in their parenting. Thank you for this opportunity. Have a blessed and peaceful Christmas filled with times with those you love.
Please count me in on the book drawing. I’ve been following Hands Free Mama’s blog, and would love to have her books. As the kids get older, it only gets harder. Thanks!
Count me in!
Count me in, please. Stillness is hard to come by for all of us. In the Christmas season, we have some moments of peace at dinner when we light the advent candles and say grace for all the good that we have. I also still say prayers with my girls (Our Father; Hail Mary; Glory Be; and Hail, Holy Queen) whenever I can get to them before they go to bed — they are now 16 an 18. Sometimes, it’s also nice to just sit and be together while each of us does our own thing.
Love, love, love Mitten Strings for God!!! I’ve read it at least 10 times and actually tore two pages out a few years ago so I could carry them with me to read when I need to! I’ll tape them back in eventually. 🙂 Thank you for the recommendations. I just ordered Parenting in the Age of Attention Snatchers. It looks very helpful! As the mother of two tweens and a 2 year old, moments of stillness are extremely rare but I crave that solitude at least once a day. I try to wake up really early, in the dark and cold, when the whole house is asleep so I can make a cup of coffee, read, meditate or practice yoga. It definitely keeps me sane. Thank you so much for your writing.
Keeping it simple so count me in. Thank you.
Count me in. Perhaps the books will open doors to creating stillness . . .
Count me in. Although I feel as if I’ve already been gifted. I would read anything that you recommend. I will definitely gift and pass on these books. I don’t have any children of my own. I cherished ordinary day much like the women in their day did the gift of the sea I imagine. Your writing is such a gift to me. To quote James taylor, “there were lonely times when I could not find a friend” and then their you are in my inbox as a reminder. I hope you are feeling well and recovering swiftly. I think round two is in progress? Feel better soon and enjoy your Christmas with your family Katrinia.
All of your books and posts are so thought-provoking and well-written. They are like presents I eagerly wait to devour and share with my best friends. Perhaps, now you could focus on us, empty-nesters. We, with adult children, could use your wisdom. Thank you and include me in those hoping to win your books. Happy Holidays to you and your family!
I’ve read and enjoyed Mitten Strings a couple of times and have let a friend borrow it as well. I’ve also read Ordinary Day and recently purchased a copy and look forward to rereading it. I am a 53 year old with a 17 year old and a 6 year old so I feel like I relate to the stages you were at in both of these books. I also relate to the aches and pains you mention in your recent posts! I would love some stillness in my life as I feel I don’t get it unless I stay up way too late at night. Please count me in!
Hi, I have enjoyed your posts and books. As my 3 boys are entering the final stretches of childhood, your writings are a wonderful reminder to me to stop and enjoy this time with them. Often this time of sports, school, church activities, friends, drivers ed and on and on doesn’t allow quiet time per se, and yet I find myself at peace as I soak in all of the chaos and activities, knowing this phase of life ends all too soon. Peace and a quiet mind often transcends understanding and is not always reflective of circumstances as it comes from God and within. Enjoying the ordinary moments, even if those moments are the day’s busy activities, gives me peace and joy with my family rather than always viewing it as a stress and a burden.
Your writings always resonate with me on a heart/soul level. I have 4 children, 2 of which are raising children now. I will be sharing this list with them. Ever grateful.
Count me in !
P.S. Just baked your recipe “The only apple cake recipe you’ll ever need ” and you are so right …it is simply delicious and definitely a keeper ! Thanks for all your wisdom .
I am so grateful for you and all your writings. Mitten Strings was my favorite book for giving and me! Our sons are now 20 and 22, your writing has been solace for me all these years. As for stillness, when our sons were young and we gathered around our dinner table on a Sunday, we lit the advent candle, they didn’t have a concept of time to “wait” for the 2nd candle to be lit 7 days later, so on the first Sunday and for the next six nights we lit one candle and each night we each shared something about whatever the candle week was: hope, joy etc on the 2nd Sunday we lit two candles and for the next 6 days and so on. Now it is just my husband and me and we are doing the same thing and it calms our souls and minds and has become a nice calming tradition.
Count me in!! I have had Mitten Strings for many years and have always loved it and given it as gifts to my daughters-inlaw. My sons are 49, 47 and 45 and I wish it had been written when they were young. I would give it to a young woman with a new baby. I just met her recently after she lost everything in a house fire on Thanksgiving Day. The other two books sound like ones we all need to read. I would read them first and then pass them on to my daughter-in-law who is a dedicated at-risk counselor at an elementary school.
I hope you are feeling better and stronger each day and that your Christmas and New Year are filled with wonder. Your posts are a blessing in my life.
Yes I too, love to hear yr words, as a mother of young children it’s good to get counsel from someone a little older & wiser. If u think the book is a good read, then I need it !
With daughters 20 and 22, I too wish to have had more guidance and connection. As I look back I feel that it was more “keeping up” then enjoying the moment. I am thankful to be VERY close to my girls and hope that when and if they have children I can guide them along a very different road.
As always, thank you for your inspiration. I look forward to your emails in my inbox.
Marilyn
I sit still in our big comfy chair in front of the space heater with my 10 year old son and together we read aloud Gerald Morris’s amazing, funny, imaginative interpretations of King Arthur’s time (with some very strong female characters) called The Squire’s Tales, so I guess this is both a comment and a book series recommendation. I soak in every minute of these special still moments with my youngest son knowing that one day they will end, but also knowing that some other beautiful moment between us will exist, even if it is only to remember these quiet times together.
Count me in please!
When my children were younger we snuggled up and read books together! Now that they are grown I savor all the traditions they still come home to be a part of.
Dinner together, with “Earth who gives to us this food, sun who makes it ripe and good, dearest earth and dearest sun, we will not forget what you have done. Blessings on this meal and each other.” and our continued (at 12 and 14) bedtime ritual of a prayers, a grateful list and a back rub to our lullaby. Warm greetings to gently start the day. All ideas from Mitten Strings….and our Waldorf days. Thank you for all your continued advice on our journey.
Christmas Blessings to you Katrina! I have enjoyed your posts over the last 5 years or so. I remember you talking about your younger son applying to St. Olaf. My daughter applied there but ended up at Knox College. She is now off serving in Americorp for this school year in Jacksonville, FL. I also have two boys 20 and 17. I look forward to having them all home for Christmas and remembering the reason for the season: birth of baby Jesus. A time to reflect on newness and the fresh new year to come. I enjoy jogging with my 11 year old dog and praying along the way for those in need. We have watched over a young man who lost his mom last year. He had just graduated from high school and needed help finding direction. He recently also became a new dad. I would love to share parenting books with him.
I try to be “in the moment” with my kids in the craziness of our days. Every day is a gift and they grow up so quickly! Enjoy your books so much. Thanks!
We create stillness by lighting our living room with candles and reading together. We don’t have to chat about the day if we don’t care to, we just are together. I am so appreciative of your writing and have a well thumbed copy of Mitten Strings by my bedside. Thank you.
Please count me in! And good thoughts to you as you continue to heal.
I haven’t been able to get a handle on this tidbit yet. Which is why I am so appreciative of your blog each and everytime I read it. It’s a gentle reminder in a world that’s anything but. Thank youQ
“Mitten Strings” was the first book that allowed me to acknowledge how deeply uncomfortable I was with the rushed, scheduled life of my first parenting year. Fast forward 5 years, and I have worked hard to quit that always-on-always-rushing-life, and now teach Simplicity Parenting. The principles are timeless and necessary for my life even more than for my 2 boys. I find stillness for myself by getting up early to write morning pages. Then I prep breakfast, and go wake up the boys early too. We have enough time to wake up slowly, have tickle fights while getting ready, eat together, and then wait for the bus together. It means going to bed much earlier, but even that has become an acceptable sacrifice for peaceful mornings.
We spend time walking in the forest together, every week. Being wild, being calm, walking and exploring.
My son and daughter in law are expecting their first child, our first grandchild, next April. To be able to gift them these 3 books would give me so much joy. As first time parents, it is so much easier to read excellent advice than it is to listen to parents. We’ve all been there.
Thank you for this opportunity.
At this stage of our lives (my kids are late elementary & middle school; I’m now a WOHM), the best way to create stillness is one of the oldest ways: to gather on the couch and read. We do this most around the holidays, when I bring out the old favorites. But other times of the year, when I feel the walls closing in with meetings, practices, homework, and the like, I’ll pick up a classic and the four of us sit together in peace.
Mitten Strings for God changed everything about my parenting a decade ago. If I win the signed copy, I promise to pass along my dog-eared copy!
Please count me in. I am raising two children by myself and could use all the help I can get.
I so enjoy your thoughts and reflections. And am eager to explore some of these reading suggestions …. ways to slow down and enjoy the wonder and magic of the world with my young grand children.
Please count me in. I am a former kindergarten and special education teacher who left being in the classroom fulltime 17 years ago with the birth of my third daughter because I knew I needed and wanted more time at home raising my three incredible daughters. Currently, I run my own business Bhava Tree which promotes children’s wellness through children’s yoga, mindfulness, healthy cooking and gardening classes helping to empower children from the ground up in this crazy and chaotic life. Recent addition of prenatal and baby/toddler and me yoga classes for new parents has added a new focus to my work. I love being able to provide a safe and inclusive support network for parents who are desperately seeking ways to fully embrace their roles as parents, seeking ways to be ever present and mindful and to enjoy their roles as parents in the midst of this fast paced, demanding world of work and financial pressures. I would love to have these books as part of the loaning library for my own reference and for the parents that I walk gently beside in this journey. Many thanks for your words of wisdom Katrina. I do feel as many that you have the gift of writing the thoughts and feelings that I experience each day, especially as a mom of 23, 21 and 17 year old daughters who remembers with such love and fondness days gone by when they were little. I continue to work to make conscious decisions to embrace each stage of parenting while quietly yearning for those simpler, wonderfully magical years when my girls were little. Thank you for blessing your readers.
Dear katrina, thank you so much for the wisdom you share, I enjoy stillness with my children and grandchild by watching the birds at my feeder, we must be still for the birds to visit, ands stillness continues long after we watch. May peace and love surround your day.
I have recently started meditation as a means to find mindfulness every day, and be a more aware parent. It’s a daily struggle, as it is exceptionally difficult for me to be still, quiet and stem the flow of thoughts in my brain. But by focusing myself for just a few moments, it seems to help me find peace and calm and mindfulness. (hopefully). 🙂
Please count me in
Count me in!
Count me in. I am not sure I have ever created a moment of stillness. As a single mother I also often struggle with parenting in the positive instead of negative. I would love anything that guides me to raise my son in a better way. Thank You!!!
Count me in
I have a picture I keep on my wall in the living room. I bought it for myself when my father passed away. I look at it when I am sad, overwhelmed or anxious. It reminds me life is short.
Thank you Hands Free Mama for directing me to a new place for parenting peace! One of my simple efforts to connect on a daily basis is to take advantage of car rides with one child or both as a way to ask, listen, and discuss important things. None of us can be distracted by TV or devices in this setting and it’s a great practice of quiet discussion instead of more noise in our days. We might do sing-alongs every once in a while 🙂
Count me in! I accidentally lost my copy of hands free life at the airport. I’m hopeful someone else needed it and the timing was perfect for them to find it. I would love another copy to keep.
Count me in!
Count me in!
Something I am always working on – I find the best times to be at bedtime or early in the morning – to catch a few minutes to snuggle and check in.
Count me in! Mom of 6 boys (11 and under) and daily struggling to keep my head above water…would love (and really need) these 3 books!!
Thank you for sharing this list! Count me in! With a 3yo & 5yo, my moments of stillness come early in the morning, before they get up. I take my dog on a run/walk, breathe in fresh air, and marvel at nature. Our happiest moments together come when we crank up the music and have a dance party. Opposite of stillness, I know, but moves so much positive energy.
My daughter and I hate getting up in the morning. We are always in a hurry. One day, while sitting in my daughter’s bed trying to get her up, i decided to ask her for a ‘morning hug’ instead of yelling, “We are going to be late, let’s go!” She sits up, hugs me tight and jumps out of bed to get ready. A sense of energy runs through us and we are able to get ready without being late. Now we do this hug every morning to take time to enjoy each other even though we hate mornings! She reminds me if I don’t offer first. This has blossomed into our night time ritual as well, or when we can tell one of us needs to stop and reenergize. We love our hugs. 🙂
Although moments of stillness with a 20-month old may seem like an oxymoron, we try to incorporate time for quiet in our lives everyday. One of my favorite things to do is just sit at my son’s play table with him and watch him go about his business. I don’t try to insert myself, but just soak it all in a little bit. It really refuels me and helps remind me what matters – connection, support, and love.
I’m still working at figuring that out ! Rachel is an Amazing resource. Thank You for your inspiring words and recommendations. Happy Holidays !
I use bedtime to reflect on the day and talk about our dreams and why we are greatful…..really hoping to read and learn more! Count me in…
Count me in! Your books remind me to slow down and savor, things I enjoy more every day. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your thoughts; I look forward to reading about others you’ve suggested!
Count me in. With 3 teenagers and a 9 year old I’m trying to stop from growing up too fast, I’m constantly trying to model and practice moments of stillness and connection. Sometimes I succeed…a game, a cuddle, a chat that turns into a talk, a shoulder pat that turns into a hug…but sometimes distraction takes over and I feel lost in the busyness of life. I’ve been wanting to read these books for a while now, but with a limited budget haven’t been able to manage to buy them. Thanks for doing this awesome contest, and for your inspirational writing 🙂
It’s hard to find moments of stillness, as a full-time working single mom. I think the only time is when my daughter & I snuggle & talk before bedtime, but we do that every night.
Please count me in!!
Count me in! I am seeking ways to find those moments of stillness with my loved ones.
Count me in! With a one year old I’ve found the moments of stillness are smack dab in the middle of life and craziness when my daughter will look at me and share a big grin. There is peace. And love. And I’m grateful for it all.
I find I can be more present when I say I have alloted times for things. As in “I’ll be 100% present with the kids for 30 minutes and then take 5 minutes to do a chore I need to do.”
I try to spend some time each day doing whatever she wants to do. She’s two, so it ranges from play dough to pretend restaurant.
We have tea parties with mugs and a read aloud book
Count me in!
I would love these books. I am currently really challenged to simplify and be intentional with time for my kids. I’d love to have this knowledge and learn from it.
I have such a hard time creating moments. It’s a daily work in progress. I definitely could use help learning how to calm the anxiety that parenting has elicited!
Count me in! How do you create moments of stillness in your daily life with your loved ones?
We have nightly reading time where we are able to sit down. I like to sometimes pull books with a theme, and right now it is snow. Maybe because I am pining for the snow we do not have, so it doesn’t feel very much like the holidays.
I put my phone away and join in with whatever my children are playing. I leave the dishes and sit with my children at their level. I stop and look for the birds I can hear singing in the trees, and notice the natural world around us. I apologise if I’ve been snapping at the children and try hard to change my mood. I give hugs and smiles.
When I tuck my children in bed at night they get a few minutes of individual one on one attention. We discuss their, day their favorite part about it. Their friends or just whatever is heavy on their hearts.
I am desperately still trying to figure out how to create moments of stillness within my family, which is why I would love to win these books…we would all benefit from having quieter souls!
Count me In! My son made up “Drop Everything and Hug” so when one of us calls it, we put down whatever we are doing or holding (physically or emotionally) and hug. It reminds us to calm down and connect with what’s important. We use it for a mental reset or “do-over” too. I love that he came up with that at age 11, at a time I was worried he’d be starting to distance himself from me.
The moment I feel most connected to my family is when we are sitting down together to eat dinner and the candles are lit. Something about the candle light relaxes us and we eat good food and talk about how our days went while sitting around the table.
We try to find our moments of stillness whenever we can. It could be when we are gathered together at the dinner table, reading a story and chatting just before bed or the time we spend together outdoors.
Thank you for the giveaway! I would love to win. One of the ways I create stillness in our day is to sit and do a read aloud with my children.
count me in! Mitten Strings For God is one of my favorites! I wore out my audio tapes!
We try not to plan too much to do during the holidays to make sure that we all get plenty of time to rest, be alone, and be with each other. It helps that we live 45 minutes to an hour away from family, so we use that as an excuse to leave parties early or stay home altogether.
I Have a 5 year old and 4 month old and as of now, I struggle to find quiet moments for myself or my children. I am creating new goals for 2016 and quiet time is one of them. These books could help me focus my parenting energies more effectively. Would love to win these!
Count me in!
Count me in 😊 I don’t do this everyday, but when I can tell that things are getting rushed and frazzled, I force myself to drop everything and just give my son attention. I do whatever he wants to do. Everything else can wait, but I know that sometimes my young son can’t, and he is the only one who truly deserves my undivided attention.
count me in! Would be so wonderful! <3
Just pausing to watch
We make sure to have dinner together. Take time to thank God before our meal. Share the ups and downs off our day.
Count me in!
Count me in!
count me in!
When I am driving, I turn off the radio. If I am by myself, I find that doing so leads me to listen to my own thoughts (instead of to talk-radio or bubble-gum pop). If I am driving the kids somewhere, turning off the radio almost certainly results in our talking with one another.
Count me in! I can relate to a lot of you words of wisdom. I know I am not the only one who wishes I had another chance…but oh so grateful for the one I had!
I lost my husband unexpectedly this year… And one important lesson I have learned through this trail(and there are many), is how fragile life is and how precious our time together is… As I now parent alone, all that’s left for my child to remember is the time spent with her daddy….
Make time… The memory if the time you spent will be left behind for others to cherish…
After dinner and usually a very busy day., we all sit out side on our verandah ( no electrical devices allowed) Most nights are pretty clear and bright here in Australia and my two daughters count the stars one by one as they appear in the sky. On summer evenings the kookaburras sing their goodnight chorus as the last of the Suns Ray’s filter through the bush outside. In winter we wrap ourselves in quilts to keep warm. Our cheeks pink from the fresh night air! We reflect on the day but mostly just sit and ponder how beautiful Mother Earth really is!
Hello,
This is the first article that I have read of yours and it couldn’t have come at a better time. I have been looking and wanting to be a mindful parent. Thanks so much!
I connect with my kids by playing/dancing with them and just slowing down and watching them play.
I once thought that losing my car was the worst thing that had happened to my tiny family (me and my daughter). Over the past 8 months, I’ve realized what a blessing it has been. We spend so much more time together, whether it’s walking hand-in-hand or riding the bus. Lately, this time has been very valuable. It has forced us to slow down, hold hands, and talk about everything. I never realized how much of my time was being spent rushing from place to place in the car, music blaring, tuning out my sweet girl’s words.
My husband of 15 years, suffered a stroke 6 months ago. We have learned that the recovery process for his type of stroke will be slow…..although they say he is doing great for being only six months out. I changed my work hours to allow us more time to spend together in the mornings. I am coming home earlier from work to spend more time hearing about his day. We are sharing our thoughts at night before we go to bed. We are carving out time to be still and appreciate all the blessings that continue to flow our way on a daily basis. We have grown kids that have kids of their own now…and we are role modeling how you slow down and spend quality time together in spite of whatever life throws your way. I look forward to reading about ideas you put to work in raising your children. Thanks.
Thank you for sharing this list. I look forward to reading them
Turn things off and tune in to my loved ones!
Oh, please count me in!
You write so that we, the readers, feel we really know you. This world needs more of your wisdom and advice. As a ‘new mother’ in 1998- Mitten Strings for God was ‘a god send’ from my father when he gave it to me in 2000. I had my second baby in October 2000, and yes, I found myself hurrying; a lot. Then, along came The Gift of an Ordinary Day, and a dear friend shared your You Tube ‘reading’ from that amazing book. Thank you for these incredible books. Thank you for caring enough to write and share from the depths of your heart and your soul – for those of us who want to, but haven’t yet. Here is a quote that I am thankful you wrote: (one of many!) “we can learn to trust our maternal selves and to have faith in the innate goodness and purity of our children – even when we feel overwhelmed and the kids are pushing all our buttons. we can support one another….we can be understanding of each other and easier on ourselves.” So, yes, please count me in. I wish you could come to North Carolina some day! What a JOY it would be to meet you.
Count me in. Reading to each other at bedtime… Special time where they each choose what we do one on one with no distractions even if just 10 min at a time
Please count me in!
I know it’s the most basic of ideas, but we try to just unplug and be together without distractions. Reading together is one of our favourite things to do during these quiet times 🙂
Count me in!
Happy to say I have one of your recommended readings! Would be very happy and encouraged to read the other titles. Always looking for ways to improve in our parenting. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and the journey
hands free mamma changed me and helped me realize what matter most, these precocious moments with my kids/family. count me in!
Count me in, please!
Me!! Yes please!
One of the ways I connect to the present and get still in daily life with my children is I attempt to observe them and engage with them while everything else is suspended. They have my full attention and I am watching their movements, their, facial structure, hearing the way they talk, all their little characteristics. Then I feel so happy that I have been blessed with them and I feel grateful. But count me in! This looks like a great list.
Eye contact is what I arm myself with everyday. Eye contact. Count me in please 🙂
Story time before bed is as close to “still” as we get in our house.
around the dinner table- focused on each others’ company
Count me in! And thank you for this list! Win or lose I will be picking thesebooks up over winter break! Always looking for inspiration and good parenting ideas as I navigate this Mom Life!
We raised our children together, almost. Me in Maine, you across the line a ways. Your books were written with perfect timing, just when I needed them! Thanks so much!
Count me in!
You are an inspiration!
I can find moments of stillness and connection with my family, when I get intentional through making daily goals I stick to for 28-60+ period. Even if my goal is to have at least one time during the day where I get present to each child, and spend one-on-one time with them. Often times, that creates the space for many moments throughout the day with each of my family members. I track whether or not I met my goals each day. This accountability has made a huge difference in my ability to actually follow through and live within my values.
I try to do an art activity or read a book with them. Sometimes just lesten.
Count me in, please! We don’t do it every day, but I love to take time to snuggle up and read to my daughter 🙂
Count me in! Needed this list, thank you!
Count me in! I try and spend some quality time when my kids come home from school and really listen to them about their days. We also have dinner as a family every night during the week and each talk about our days. We make have a rule about no technology during dinner. That being said I could always learn new ways to really be present in the here and now with my family.
The dinner table is a sacred space, no phones, TV, etc. We enjoy each other’s company and a wholesome meal. This is a priority for our family, even if it’s late or if wholesome is a sandwich.
By having moments of stillness myself–early in the morning–hot tea, me, & God.
Count me in!
Thank you for posting this. I have all your books… I love how you write and how timeless your advice is. I have many books but I read your book Mitten Strings at least once a year. It’s funny but I always learn something new, or better said, I can implement one more thing in my families journey. Meeting you in person will be something I will never forget. Thank you for shaping me into the mother I have always wanted to be.
Much love my friend.
I will definitely pass this list on to my daughter who is raising two small little girls. Mitten Strings was one of the first books I gave her when she gave birth to the first. My still times are hard to carve out lately with two jobs and Christmas upon us, but I try, when possible, to have some quiet time with my husband as we prepare dinner and then sit down at the table. This is a time when we catch up from the day, share experiences and concerns and also hopes and dreams. Everything you write always touches my soul, Katrina. Thank you and Merry Christmas!
OMG, it’s you!!!!
Someone suggested Mitten Strings to me when I was pregnant with my son. I loved it. Now, 8 years on and cuddling my new 6 week old, the rushing and trying so hard to get out the door on time has gone out the window. It does mean that 8yo seems to get yelled at a bit more with my frustration 🙁 but I love the days where we are able to go with the flow and things get done (or not)
Stopping to take a breath and enjoy my new baby while nursing yet being able to ask my son how he feels about something is such a highlight of my days. I don’t always get an answer, but when I do its poignant and from his heart.
My challenge this week is to ‘put the phone down’ and ask my 8yo if he’ll read me and the baby a chapter of his book. Beneficial for us all!!!
(Getting mitten strings off the shelf fir a reread – it’s time!!!!)
Count me in!
Count me in! Creating moments of stillness…some days it seems so easy and some days – not so much!
Count me in!
Count me in 🙂 I make time for eye contact. It’s vital for creating a sense of security and peace. Especially for our little ones.
By breathing and trusting in a power greater than myself to guide me, by our long standing ritual of lighting a candle at each meal and saying a blessing, by learning how to have rhythms serve me rather than be bound by them – allowing the structure of the rhythm to fade into the background and the thing that is needed take presidence.
When I breastfeed my toddler! Those snuggles and quiet stares replenish me.
Count me in! Even though my children are now 29 and 24, I still go back and read parenting books again, especially Mitten Strings which has always been one of my very favorite books. These books that you recommend here sound so good.
Each day my goal is to live in the present and be there for the people I love so much. Some days I do better than other days.
Merry Christmas!! You have blessed the lives of so many. Thank you.
As a full time working mom I try to find these moments throughout the day, but usually dig them up when I wake my two boys in the morning and put them to bed at night. Thank you for sharing this wonderful list!
These books would be such a blessing in my life! I’m tryinf to build in 15 minutes of nurturing reading before bed, but I am struggling every day.
Please count me in as well! I love all your books and would love to carve out some time in the new year to do some reading (and share them too!), as I raise my own three little children. I don’t have much stillness or space these days but when I do I try to be mindful of the memories I am making for my kids and the kind of home I am making for them.
I can always create a stillness within myself by taking a walk down to our lower pasture and along our driveway which bisects the beaver pond and later connects to a country road. I am always cheered by a siting of geese, a blue heron, ruffed grouse or a few deer grazing along my path. Some days I feel that I cannot sacrifice the time required for this pursuit but on the days I resist this thought I am reminded that the sacrifice is in not indulging in this rejuvenating pleasure. I read Mitten Strings for God many years ago and later gave my copy to a dear friend whose daughter was expecting her first child. I so miss having it on my shelf.
Count me in!
I read and “try to meditate” after everyone is asleep. Although, right now we are working on mindfulness as a family and practising the advent of giving. It’s a lovely experience of kindness thus far.
One of my favourite books on mindfulness is, “ready, set, breathe” by Carla Naumburg. It is filled with excellent suggestions/strategies, and really brought me back to my practice of mindfulness as a busy mama!
Thank you for this great review! Definitely count me in!
http://www.amazon.ca/Ready-Set-Breathe-Practicing-Mindfulness/dp/1626252904
Just after bedtime prayer, when we are calm and snuggled and have put aside our racing and stretching. Bliss sometimes, giggly other times, and often just exhausted.
Count me in! It is so hard to find meaningful moments – we have three little ones under 5, and between their energy and my fleeting energy, it can be a challenge. One of my favorite things to do this time of year actually is to light our Advent candles together each night and say an extra prayer; we also have a Nativity puzzle that the kids love to do, so we incorporate that into our wind-down time before bedtime prayers. Simple little gestures that give us time together, as well as bring some focus to me at least, and that helps give me a wee bit of energy back for the other crazied, un-focused moments of the rest of the day 🙂
Katrina – Just snapped up some of those titles. I really value your opinion and thank you for sharing it. A friend gave me Mitten Strings when I was pregnant with my first child, and it has remained a voice in my head as I have parented my four children. I read your second book in the year before I, too, made a heart-breaking move out of the rat race of the Boston suburbs. I always know I will come away from your blog with tears in my eyes and a nugget of wisdom to ponder. Thank you for your beautiful words.
Oh I would love to win this so much!! What a generous give-away! Even while being a full-time mama of two little ones, and homeschooling our oldest, I still struggle with taking the time to enjoy moments, and just play for the sake of fun and silliness. I get so caught up in the have-to-dos of daily life. I want so much to do a better job of enjoying my children, and giving them my undivided attention that they need and deserve. I do try to pray with my children whenever the need arises, and bedtime is usually the time I make sure to spend enjoying a book, chatting together to hear my boy’s deeper thoughts and questions, and praying and singing with them. I long for personal change that will enable me to give my family more stress-free days in being more organized, a better manager of my time, less distracted with social media and the cares of this world, and most of all, closer to my Creator and Savior in His Word and prayer every day. I am, and will always be, a work in progress, but hoping to grow in many areas before my sweet babies grow up too fast.
Count me in! (& thx Rachel/Hands Free Revolution for sharing this site)
Please count me in, too! I’m about to be a first-time mama, and learning how to be still and appreciate the slow beauties of life is a challenge I want to work on, so I can pass that along to my future little ones. I’m constantly struggling with type-A, overworked, overstimulated stresses and anxieties!
Take a deep breath; turn everything off; sit down on the couch with a child snuggled in your lap, and read a favorite book out loud. The best.
Hold hands with my kids
Thanks for these recommendations, and for the wisdom and comfort that your writing has brought to my parenting and my life!
I agree with many books on your list and now have some new ones to add to the 2016 Books to Read list! Thanks for the ideas.
With three sons ages 13, 12, and 7 we are in the thick of the distracted age. Just last Sunday we created “Screen Free Sunday” which also applies to Mom and Dad. The idea is to put the devices away for an entire day and to return the family day to family interaction! There were protests all morning but by late afternoon our 12 year old declared he was grateful for the forced rest. It was a wonderful day and we agreed to try it again weekly.
Hi Katrina – I have enjoyed your books and perspective for a few years now. They offer a certain wisdom and empathy that I desperately seek in my parenting and general acceptance of my inherent nature and instincts. The way in which I instill calmness with my sons these days is reading the Wizard of Oz series with the fireplace going. While the temps in my area are still warm, the coziness and trance-like quality of the fire is really becoming and calming. I hope you are mending and feeling at peace.
I try to take a moment to look my sons (ages 8, 13, and 15) in the eyes and ask them about their day, truly connecting with them once and sometimes twice a day. It is a small ritual, and one that seems minor, but that connection each day keeps me “in the loop” with all three of my sons daily. It may not really be “stillness”- but it stills me for a moment and keeps me engaged in the moment and not thinking of the 101 things on my to-do list. I read your book “Blessings of an Ordinary Day” and loved it- I want to reread it now that my sons are older than they were when I read the book and I think I will gain more from it now. Best wishes to you- you are an AMAZING writer!
I lock myself in the bathroom!!
Count me in!
I still search for such books and my ‘babies’ are nearly 25 and 28!
Guess now I’m searching for how to be a better grandmama in a
few years!