Everyone we know who’s ever loved and lost a dog told us the same thing: that she would let us know when it was time to say good-bye. And of course, she did.
Yesterday morning we let Gracie go, with sad hearts but also certain that it was her day to leave us.
Since she was diagnosed with cancer just a month ago, on Oct. 17, Gracie rose to the challenge of treatment just the way she did everything else in her life: willingly, without fuss or fanfare, and with complete trust in her humans to do what was best for her. We took a big swing at it, with three rounds of chemo, and were amazed and thrilled as she gained back weight and strength and her zest for life.
A week ago, she was like her old self — up at dawn, taking long morning walks, playing in the leaves, chasing balls and sticks. (Steve took this photo last weekend, as Gracie eagerly did her part during fall clean-up at my parents’ house.)
There were no bad days. These past few weeks have been about massages and Reiki and hand-feeding, lots of special, home-cooked food, visits with all her friends, treats and walks and togetherness. We had the great gift of getting her back for a little while, knowing as well that things could turn at any moment. When they did, we took our cues from her.
Yesterday morning Steve and Debbie and I had breakfast together, while Gracie dozed on her bed beside us in the sunshine. After a long, difficult night, she was breathing peacefully. She was “present” and, at the same time, so clearly ready to go. We played the Brandenburg concertos on the stereo (the Saturday-morning pancake music of her puppyhood), loved her and kissed her and held her. I told her the story of her life, all thirteen wonderful years of it, and read her poems from Mary Oliver’s “Dog Songs.” She had a lovely, pain-free morning, which felt like another gift. And then one last ride in the car, to the vet who has been so kind and helpful through this journey.
Gracie passed at 11:25, with her sweet head in my hands and Debbie holding her body. She leaves a great hole in all our lives. I know we will find tennis balls on every walk we take in the woods for years. And we will miss her, and remember her, always, the companion of our lives.
Tonight, sitting here in a quiet house without her in it, I am sad and raw and lonely. Every spot here speaks her name. Each time I think I’m done with crying, the tears flow again. I want her back. It is as simple, and as impossible, as that.
Instead I turn yet again to Mary Oliver, who knows as much as anyone about loving and letting go of dogs:
“And it is exceedingly short, this galloping life. Dogs die so soon. I have my stories of that grief, no doubt many of you do also. It is almost a failure of will, a failure of love, to let them grow old–or so it feels. We would do anything to keep them with us, and to keep them young. The one gift we cannot give.”
I think, when I wrote this passage in Magical Journey, I was attempting to prepare myself for the inevitable. Of course, I thought I was prepared. Only to find I wasn’t prepared at all. At any rate, this excerpt does serve as a eulogy of sorts, a portrait of Gracie as she was, and so it seems worth sharing here.
from Magical Journey: An Apprenticeship in Contentment
Gracie was a puppy when our sons were little boys. The three of them came of age together, amid baseballs sailing through the backyard, tennis balls and Frisbees and badminton birdies in flight. If it could be tossed or caught or hit or chewed, Gracie was there, hunkered down, all sharp ears and eyes and attention as she awaited her moment to leap, her mouth parted just slightly in what we all were certain was a smile of anticipation. From the moment we brought her home as a squirmy two-month-old black and white ball of fur, until first one and then the other son aged out of Little League, she never missed a single game, could be counted on to sit fully engrossed—if pained to be excluded from the action—on the sidelines, jaws snapping shut every time a ball slapped into a glove. On a couple of memorable occasions, she managed to give her collar the slip and take off in a blur of pure border collie velocity, straight out to her customary spot in the outfield, where she’d spin around and crouch into position, ready to make a catch. Games were stopped in order to return Gracie to the bench, but no one ever really minded; she was a vision of athleticism and exuberance. In our own backyard, she was always a starter, an essential part of every team; she knew just how to get herself under the arc of a ball, how to receive it in her teeth and relinquish it with grace to the pitcher. The rules were modified to accommodate her lack of an arm, but not much. Gracie was a serious player; she commanded respect.
Now I see how both Steve and I have come to depend on her to mitigate the silence, to fill the emptiness left in the wake of two absent boys. When our sons were little, Steve was greeted as he walked through the door each night by cries of “Daddeeee’s home!” and entreaties for a game of catch in the yard. The balls and gloves would be located, the most urgent news of the day hastily dispensed with, and out they would go. I’m not sure who looked forward to this daily play time more, my husband or his boys, but it was just one of many small rituals that made family life rhythmic, predictable, and good. And Gracie was an essential ingredient in that mix, too.
Thinking of those days now, I see that our dog has simply carried on what our sons, growing up as sons do, could not. Having lived through and absorbed their childhoods into her being, she sees it as her job to continue traditions they outgrew long ago. It’s been years, of course, since our sons came running to meet their dad at the door, but Gracie still does it, still dances at his feet and begs for a ball game before he’s even had time to put down his bag or change his shoes. And Steve, as ever, is happy to oblige. It is good to be loved, to be welcomed, to be needed, whether by boy or dog.
But even this ritual is changing, for much as Gracie wants to do what she’s always done, it’s the idea and the memory of that sacred routine she holds on to now and acts out with unflagging enthusiasm every evening. At eleven she’s too old to chase down an endless stream of balls as she used to do. But still, she and Steve go through the motions. He bends down to greet his girl; she urges him outside; he tosses the ball high and she snags it, expertly and on the fly, as she has done thousands of times before. But once is enough now, maybe twice on a good day—though God forbid they should ever pass on the game altogether.
And suddenly I think I understand why Jack has been campaigning for a puppy, looking at border collies online, and insisting that we need to give Gracie time to train her successor—impossible as it is for any of us to imagine life without her. For Gracie is the bridge between what’s over and what is unfolding now. She, unlike the two aging humans in the household, has moved without regret into this new chapter, rejoicing in every homecoming and stoically accepting the inevitable farewell nose kisses. When Henry’s home, she sleeps in his room and keeps an eye on his suitcase, attuned to the moment when there are more clothes going back into it than coming out. When Jack is here, she will still give everything she has to give in order to play defense under the basketball hoop. He picks up the ball and she’s suddenly two again, every bounce an excitement requiring a move, a quick response, even though the price is high: he will have to carry her up the stairs at night.
When her boys are gone, when it’s just the two of us here, she acquiesces to less thrilling entertainments—early morning walks with me and Steve, brief pursuits of the wild turkeys in the yard, digging a hole under the rhododendron. Imprinted for life with the beauty of balls and boys, she hasn’t relinquished her passion for either. But like us, she’s adjusting to this new life even as she carries all our yesterdays within her and upholds our family ways, embodying for each of us the beauty of continuity and the illusion of permanence.
Joy and love: the contents of a dog’s heart. No wonder, upon seeing Gracie, our fully grown sons drop to the floor, face-to-face and nose to nose, and eagerly become their younger, sweeter, sillier selves. And no wonder my husband and I catch ourselves talking to her as if she were a child herself, as if in carrying on the traditions born in our sons’ childhood years, she is also allowing us to play our old parenting roles for just a little longer. Our sons may be grown and gone, but Gracie, loyal companion of their boyhoods, is still here. Still here and, though decades older than all of us in dog years, still exuberantly herself, reminding us that to live well is to honor both the beauty of routine and the enchantment of the moment that is right now. I’m beginning to think Jack is right: she is a good teacher.
Enter to win Mary Oliver’s new book
I’m certain anyone who shares their life with a dog will love Mary Oliver’s new book Dog Songs as much as I do. A gift from a dear friend, it’s been the one book I’ve returned to over and over lately, finding both solace and kinship in its pages, not to mention a much-needed reminder to simply be grateful for all that is in this beautiful world, even as I mourn what has come to an end. In honor of Gracie, I’ve bought another copy of Dog Songs to share here.
To enter to win, you must be subscribed to my blog (you can subscribe now, if you haven’t already), and then simply leave a thought or two about dogs in the comments below. I will select a winner at random, using random.org, on November 30. To those who have already written notes of support and concern during our journey with Gracie, know how grateful I am. Your words have meant much. Thank you.
after tears all i can think of is ………………..g’night Gracie
We lost our westie Brodie 2 years ago and missed him terribly. Could always sense, however he was somehow stil hanging around. A friend painted a beautiful portrait of him for my 50th….I think it keeps his spirit around. Now we have one year old energetic yorkie…a big one, that has brought puppy joy back to everyone in the house. Guthrie reminds us how empty life can be without a four legged friend to love.
As I read your words, my tears flowed. I love your description of how Gracie allowed life to go on “as normal” when your sons moved out. We have a Sheltie, Bella who sounds as if she & Gracie are cut from the same cloth! Bella is now, 12, and can’t chase too many balls or walk very far…& gets carried upstairs every night.
My heart aches for you & your family. We still have Bella, but her days are limited. Thank you for sharing your story, which allowed me to “pre- grieve” just a bit, before the reality of no more is true here. I dread that moment.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Of course you know that it is our job to help our dog friends go if they need us to. I had my 17 year old Aussie-Blue Heeler mix euthanized at home 2 years ago, and still miss him every day. He was the husband who didn’t snore and the kid who didn’t argue with me. He gave me way more than I ever gave him. A couple of books that were of comfort to me when he was gone: Garth Stein’s *The Art of Racing in the Rain*; and Jon Katz’s *Going Home: Finding Peace When a Pet Dies*. May you and your husband find peace in memories of your Gracie as you move into this next phase of life.
So sorry to hear the news, Katrina. Your writing is beautiful, but the news it brings is terrible. Take care, and much love, Gish
I sm so sorry for your family ‘s loss. I know how you feel as my family also lost a beloved pet/family member and my heart aches for you. Please know she lived a life loving your family unconditionally and knowing she was loved by all of you and in the end that is all we can hope for.
All my best days…dog days…happy, joyful, unconditional, faithful. My dog is my soulmate and my husband is just fine with it. They are my two best guys, ever.
oh this is so beautiful. Having just lost my 16 year old cat, and now with a 14 year old red heeler loss is very close. I know she is slowing down too and soon to be saying good bye to us. It is heart breaking and oh so hard when the tears fall. We trust the vet and we say our good bye and we leave with just a leash. Yes it is hard. I am sorry for your loss.
I am so sad for you and Steve and the boys. I held on to my later in life puppy, Charlie, as I read your post. Tears were running down my cheeks as a looked at him and realized that I need to both brace myself for the sorrow that will come far too soon, yet push it away so that I can enjoy every day that I am blessed by his companionship. He is supposed to be a mini golden doodle but our vet seems to think there is a lot of border collie in Charlie. I just read Anna Quindlen’s book, Good Dog Stay. It might bring you some comfort. I am so sorry for your loss. She was a beautiful girl.
Katrina, I am sorry for your loss…we too lost our beloved dog Jake in March. He rescued us 8 years ago and dug deep into our hearts. About 6 weeks before he left us we were rescued once again by two terrier brothers Logan and Levi who have nestled into our home and our hearts.
Our pets love us despite our mistakes,imperfections in almost the same way mothers love their children. The loss of a pet is so very difficult and your writing describes those emotions beautifully. Thank you for putting into words what so many of us feel.
I’d like to share a Wendell Berry poem with you. It made me think of Gracie, and our precious Golden, Katie, who was with us for 13 years and loved the woods as well.
Woods
I part the out thrusting branches
and come in beneath
the blessed and the blessing trees.
Though I am silent
there is singing around me.
Though I am dark
there is vision around me.
Though I am heavy
there is flight around me.
Sending you hugs, Mary Lynne
I am so very sorry for this heart-wrenching loss. We have two dogs 10 & 11 and I know that one day they too will leave us with a broken heart. I know Gracie is waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge where once again you will be re-united. God grant you peace and in your grief you will find moments of peace and in that peace you will know it is Gracie saying, do not mourn, I am at peace and I will always be with you. Take care…sending hugs.
This is such a lovely tribute to Gracie. I’m so, so very sorry to read this, to feel it. I became a dog lover late in life, but I, too, understand the hole she leaves behind. Sending peaceful and wagging-tales kinds of thoughts your way.
Rest in peace Gracie – it sounds like you were an amazing dog. Katrina, you must be so heart broken. Praying for you.
I’m sorry, Katrina. I often thought of you and Gracie when I would take our new puppy for early morning walks last year. Knowing how special and dear she was to you, I ached for you knowing this day was inevitable. May fond memories warm your hurting heart tonight.
So sorry for your loss of dear Gracie. We had to let our dear Bailey girl go after 15 years
just 3 short months ago. We miss her so. She was a sweet sweet friend that was a wonderful part of our family for so many precious years.
Thinking of you and wishing you comfort in loving memories of beautiful Gracie.
Darn it – I knew I shouldn’t have read that. Now I can barely see through my tears to send my deepest condolences. This was a beautiful eulogy to your much loved Gracie! And, as I watch my beloved 12-year old black lab grow old, it does give me some comfort to know that she, like Gracie, will let me know when it is time to say goodbye.
I had a feeling this post was coming and now my tears are flowing. You have my heartfelt condolences. Your family was blessed to have shared thirteen years with such a dear canine companion as Gracie. There is nothing to compare with the love and loyalty of a dog. I know those sad, raw, lonely feelings all too well. We lost our two girls this past spring and summer. Sofie, a yellow lab, died of cancer in April at the age of nine. She was followed by Holly, our rescued lab-mix, in August from complications of laryngeal paralysis. With two children away at boarding schools this fall, my husband and I looked at each other and said, “We need a dog.” Tucker joined our family at the end of September when he was 10 weeks old. He is now an exuberant four month old bundle of energy just beginning his “galloping life” with us.
I will give Tucker an extra snuggle tonight and tell him the story of a beautiful lady named Gracie who caught balls, ran with her boys, and loved her family unconditionally. She was one of the best.
Thank you for sharing your memories of Gracie with us. I wish you peace in the days ahead as you adjust to the loss of such a beloved friend. I remember losing my childhood dog when she was 15 (she lived a good long time) and I was 25): Smoocher was her name because she loved to kiss our lips. Take good care:)
So sorry to hear about your Gracie–the way you helped her transition…beautiful–what a tribute to her life.
Our pets mark shared chapters and moments of our lives. Gracie was loved and will be sorely missed. May she run and frolick with our pups over the Rainbow Bridge!
I am saddened to hear of your loss. This has been a rough year, so many great dogs have left this life. My forever heart dog let go of this physical world in January. Thank you for your words as they spoke so many of my emotions. She, too, bridged my life from my two sons leaving home. The hole she left is immense and it has taken a very long time to be able to smile thinking about her, although the heart strings pull hard. Sometimes it just takes my breath.
Gracie has some wonderful company. Big hugs. These companions are immeasurable gifts, the ultimate gift we must extend to them is so difficult.
Your account of Gracie brings back memories of over sixty years ago when my beloved dog (who looked very much like your Gracie) was hit by a car on the highway and killed. I felt as if I had lost my best friend, and I still mourn her loss. She was a dear friend and companion to a girl who lived out in the country and needed a best friend. I’m so sorry for your loss and understand the heartache you feel.
I, myself, have never known the joy of owning a dog. My best friend lost her dog of fourteen years, this past summer. I know her grief and that of her family. Autumn was her constant companion. He was there for her when her children went off to college and out into the world. I still feel something is amiss when I visit my friend and
there is no cold nose to sniff me, or bark and beg for treats. At some point she will get a new dog, but the grieving process takes time and you can’t replace a family member. Good night, sweet Gracie. My condolences, Katrina, to you and your family.
Just letting you know I hear you—and sending loving wishes.
I sob as I read this… it takes me back nearly 5 years ago, when my beloved Gypsy followed a similar path; cancer, chemo, a few month resurgence in living, then a sudden and swift downturn, which coincided on my husband and my anniversary. Instead of a lovely evening out, we brought Gypsy home, loved on her and even bought her a cheeseburger, which she snubbed and have the vet come to our home and let her gently go in my arms in the familiar surroundings of our backyard… I’ve never wailed before, but I wailed – and released all the pent up emotions and ultimate grief at losing my sweet gentle companion. My other dog, Scout (not present at her passing) gave comfort and taught me the most invaluable gift – to live in the moment. While I was lamenting “she’s gone FOREVER…” to Scout, it was just like “she’s not her right now” – which could have just as easily meant she’s on a walk, or at the vet, or chasing a squirrel… A bit of grace in realizing I don’t have to extrapolate into the future. However, the sadness is heavy and grief is great, but the gift of treasured memories will last your lifetime. Sending you love and deep sympathies for the passing of your beloved Gracie.
~a La Canada friend of a friend
Each morning, my husband and I, with son off to college, head out for a hike in our Malibu hills with our 3 old friends, Sun, Sky and Storm. They are our dear yellow labradors, who have clocked endless miles by our sides, snored by the fireplace and deftly snatched in mid-air leftovers tossed their way. Like Gracie, they helped our son grow up, Sun swinging in the hammock with him on summer afternoons, Sky’s voice an urgent welcome home from school, and Storm always a dog smile spread across his face. They send California doggie sentiments to the Gracie they wish they’d known, and to Gracie’s owners they offer an insistent paw in the lap to try to ease the deep ache. RIP.
Good bye Gracie girl…
My hear aches for you and your family, Katrina. My two furry babies, Teddy (16 1/2) and Laylah (9) are nestled beside me and I know my tears are for them as well as Gracie. Xo
Good bye, sweet Gracie Girl.
Katrina, I remember standing in front of a portrait of our family with Aztec, our dog who we lost to cancer. I cried, “I don’t want this to be the past…” Tears flowed when you said that you were not prepared to lose her.. We never are ready to say good-bye to such unconditional love from our dogs. Blessings to you and Steve and to everyone who loved Gracie.
My first dog was named Gracie. She protected me in my crib and I still remember her every detail and the day she had to leave us. I cried for days. I love your memories of your Gracie and how you and Gracie remind us how gracefully animals accept natures cycle of life. It’s an especially good reminder as I care for my 15 year old companion cat named Inky. They are all so graceful and accepting of life everyday, and giving of love to us all. Peace to you and your Gracie and your family as well.
My heart is saddened upon hearing of your loss. Having experienced the loss(es) of beloved pets…and seeing friends and family go through the same, I realize the pain and grief is indescribable….so we just let the tears flow until they dry up and with red swollen eyes prepare a little shrine on the bookshelf with the best pictures we can find….and the memory forever in our heart.
My dog, Max, walked around in circles on his bed before he settled in at night when it was ok to rest. Both Max and Gracie settled in when their time was right. It’s just difficult for us to be settled and to rest without them. They walked in life with us and kept us lifted when our own lives changed. Right now our hearts feel a little heavy…afraid…where to place sadness without their help? You will discover tennis balls in the woods and find a smile. I recently found another part of a chewed sock and found a happy memory. They’re still walking in circles, but those circles are around our hearts now.
Katrina
I am so sorry for your loss. I thought this might be coming with what you had shared of Gracies condition, but even being prepared it is hard.
I often wonder if part of our beloved dogs journey here on this earth, is to help us learn how to grieve, and how to help each other with the pain and loss.
Your boys will grieve again when they are home next with no Gracie greeting, and you may need to be prepared for that. enjoy your happy memories and know she was well loved by us as well thru your wonderful writing.
I am so sorry to hear of Gracie’s passing, but I am so thankful for you sharing of Gracie’s journey. Last week truly was a gift from Gracie. You are left with many years of happy memories of your time with her. Hold on to them, and keep sharing! Be well.
I am subscribing. We are entering the second week of living into life without our little sweet girl, Lucy Mae, a Boston Terrier. Sitting here in the airport, choking tears at this beautiful goodbye. Thank you for loving so well. And for giving such good words to this tender ache.
Yes, Katrina. I know; I know. Deepest sympathy.
Oh, Katrina. I am sorry.
You must buy Dog Heaven by Cyntha Rylant as well. A children’s book that comforts everyone who has had and lost a dog.
I am so very sorry for the loss of Gracie. We have 2 dogs and they are the most perfect wonderful additions to our family. Dogs love and live purely and freely. They are always there, never judging, just wanting to make us happy. Life with a dog is the most precious life. They simply do not live long enough……and that is heartbreaking. They do pack a whole lot of life and love into their years here.
So sorry for your loss. Our 11 year old Lily has been part of the fabric of our family since the girls were little and is also starting to fade. My college freshman daughter has shared several stories of friends dogs passing this semester. I thought of your boys sadness too. I have been reading about Gracie for many years. Thank you for sharing her sad, sweet passing.
Oh the tears. I am sorry. We lost our dog almost 6 years ago and she is still missed. Our current dog is almost 12 and the signs of aging are creeping up. Dogs are so loyal! I love them 🙂
My heart aches for you as I read of Gracie’s passing. Through your beautiful words, I came to know Gracie over these last few years. Thank you for sharing her in your writing. She certainly had a starring role in your Magical Journey and touched many lives. May she rest in peace.
my heart is with you during this tender time. dogs (and my children) have taught me so much about play and rest.
I wish there were words to express my sadness for you right now. Losing a beloved pet is among the most painful human experiences. We can always close our eyes and imagine them beside us again; perhaps we can someday love another pet. The lost one, though, will not be replaced. My sympathies.
I have been thinking about you and Gracie so much of late. I am so sorry for your loss. It hurts so much when you come home and there is no furry, smiling face there to greet you. Gracie was such a beautiful girl. I can see the love shining out of her….although she’s gone, she will always be with you. Love is eternal. Sending hugs and love, Laura
Sending you and your family loving light during your grieving. That you faced her transition so gracefully offers me a path to follow when we face the challenge of loss with our own dogs. The beautiful creatures I am blessed to spend most of my days with, Sukha and Rosie are such a blessing to me! They force me outside daily in the Northern Michigan weather, they patiently wait near my yoga mat till I am finished with my daily practice, they forgive me when I am irritable or busy with a paper for grad school at my computer. Their unbridled joy when I enter the house is inspiring and a self esteem builder! My life with them is rich <3
Sending you and your family loving light during your grieving. That you faced her transition so gracefully offers me a path to follow when we face the challenge of loss with our own dogs. The beautiful creatures I am blessed to spend most of my days with, Sukha and Rosie are such a blessing to me! They force me outside daily in the Northern Michigan weather, they patiently wait near my yoga mat till I am finished with my daily practice, they forgive me when I am irritable or busy with a paper for grad school at my computer. Their unbridled joy when I enter the house is inspiring and a self esteem builder! My life with them is rich <3
So very sad to read this about Gracie. Your tribute to her life is beautiful. Both the love and grief that come with sharing our lives with dogs are such lessons. I am so sorry for your loss.
Such a beautiful and loving tribute to Gracie. I’m so sorry you’ve had to say goodbye, but I know she enjoyed a life well lived. You were all so lucky to have each other.
Katrina, i am so truly sorry for your loss….i lost my beloved dog almost 13 years ago, and not a day goes by that i don’t think about him. My prayers are with you and your family during this sad time. Love, Ileana
A beautiful tribute for a beautiful dog. I feel as if I know Gracie through your books. What a privilege to be the family to have shared her life.
Thank you for letting us know about the book, Dog Songs. It will find a place on our book shelves and perhaps one more as a Christmas gift.
My you find comfort in your memories of Gracie. Peace be with you.
Chris
It’s hard when blessings bring pain but in time the blessing will heal.
oh I am so sorry. I loved Gracie stories and knowing she was improving. We currently have our first dog who is almost 4 and I constantly fret over the inevitable day looming somewhere in the distant future…Gracie had a wonderful life…
Oh, Katrina, I’m so sorry. I have lost two of my dogs to cancer in the last three years, and one of the things that has comforted me (besides knowing I gave them my best and they knew it, and then being able to rescue another, give them all the love and best care I can, invite in another beast who will break my heart) is Mary Oliver’s poetry, especially this:
To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
There are no words that ever bring solace after the death of a beloved dog or cat. We lost two of our feline family members two years ago and when a black cat reappeared recently, I so wanted him to be the one who had been lost. We can never replace our animal friends, only learn from their exuberant lives what it means to truly be here with each other. Gracie was more than a dog…I am so sorry she is gone.
Your stories of Gracie touched me. Thank you. When we said goodbye to our Maggie this year we worked together as a family to honor her and work through our grief. Here is our tribute. I thought it might console you too.
Maggie was our first dog. When we chose to adopt a shelter pet, we felt altruistic, but it was Maggie that did us a favor by joining the family. We had no idea the countless ways she would enrich our lives. We are heartbroken without her daily presence. Maggie constantly demonstrated how to live life. We just need to embrace her attitude and innocent spirit.
1. Welcome the start of each day with joy. A positive attitude spreads to those around you.
2. Greet all beings, human and creature without prejudice. Assume you will be friends.
3. Don’t worry about mistakes. That decision is over and done. Move on and forget about.
4. Make sure you always know the location of all the people you love.
5. The most important moment is right now. Live in the present without regret about yesterday or worry for tomorrow.
6. Get outside every day to smell the flowers, feel the sun, or frolic in the snow.
7. Don’t hold a grudge.
8. Clean up after yourself – nuff said.
9. Don’t worry so much about what you look like.
10. Eat a treat before dinner, it won’t ruin your appetite and it’s delicious!
11. Expect goodness. Be surprised when something bad happens.
12. Keep a look out for simple treasures that are right under your nose.
13. Get your beauty sleep. A nap in the sunshine is very rejuvenating.
14. Sometimes people need a little nudge to get going in the right direction. When done with love (and your nose), they appreciate the extra motivation.
15. Love unconditionally.
So sad for you and your family, Katrina. Dogs do indeed die too soon, and they are the great background players of family life. Our dog is 14 and I know his days are numbered, so this essay hits home for me. Still, how lovely this bond between species, this gift of loyalty, this joy at being able simply to run. I wish you fond thoughts as you grieve. Gracie may have left your lives but she will never leave your hearts.
What a beautifully written tribute to what this dog meant and means to all of you. I will hug my 7 year old golden a little closer today, be a little more present with my two teenage boys today. Thank you for those gifts you remind me of over and over again…in all you write and share.
my dog is now twelve and every day i take stock of his health, anticipating and denying what will come. peace and sympathy to you.
My heart and love are with you and your family. Gracie, as are all of our furbabies, waiting on the other side of Rainbow Bridge, tale wagging, jumping for joy, waiting to meet you again.
I read your beautiful words through tear filled eyes. Gracie couldn’t have been more loved or better cared for anywhere.
Oh, Katrina. I am so very, very sorry. Sitting in my kitchen, eating a bowl of oatmeal while my children splash in the bath, I saw your post in my Reader and immediately put down the spoon and began to cry. Pets are so very special. Your thoughts on Gracie and your sons’ boyhood rings so true for me. When my oldest child was only two months old, my beloved cat of many years passed away suddenly. Without her, I felt adrift; my daughter would never remember her. We have new cats now, who have been with us for all of my children’s childhoods thus far. And I know that when they pass, I will feel that I am losing more than just my sweet cats.
Hugs and love to you.
I have just returned from my first walk of the day with Hampton (our Brittany who may be about 8 yrs old.) We were graced to find Hampton during the Thanksgiving holiday of 2007 after one year and 3 months after the passing of our first dog, Axle. He has been an amazing gift for whom I give “Thanks” to daily.
I am so touched by your words and weeping for your loss of Gracie. Our four-legged family members are amazing friends, teachers, companions and soul-mates. We are blessed to have them in our lives, even for such a short time. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Dakota Blizzards are harsh and October 2013 storm named ATLAS took the life of our beloved horse of 23 years along with 100,000 head of other livestock in this area. Once again, your writings have helped us articulate the loss and taught us that we are not alone. Thank you.
We are on the same journey with our Springer-Oreo. Thanks for the strength and kind words. Peace
So so sorry.
I am so sorry for your loss .
Gracie was a pretty girl!
And if I know border Collie’s one smart cookie.
Today is our dog Benny’s third birthday and as we celebrate with happiness I’ll be thinking of you celebrating Gracies life and all the years you spent with her.
She was a very lucky girl to have such a wonderful family who cherished her like a valued family member. Also, thanks for reminding me to take the time to initiate new conversations, make time to give more, hug more, give an extra smile, do a little extra, make a meal for a friend who’s fighting personal battles.
The things I read that you post make me a better person and I thank you for that!
I’ve been really trying to live in the moment.
So thank you.
And as we celebrate Benny today, please know your Gracie will be right there in our thoughts as well. XO
I’ve always felt that observing a dog as it grows older is a gentle reminder how quickly time passes for all of us. Dogs are the quintessential example of “living in the moment”. We should all “sit” and take note…
God bless your family, Katrina, as you remember Gracie. As many of your readers probably do as well, I feel as if Gracie was just a little bit my dog too.
K –
I am so sorry for your loss…the passage above made me cry when I read it the first time and is no different this time. I relate to it on so many levels, having lost a dog that was 14yrs old and we have two sons who are teens now but no longer little boys. Our 7yr old lab Stella fills in those gaps now that the boys are gone more than they’re home. Life is wonderful, hard, thrilling and sad all at the same time, and dogs seem to understand that better than us humans. Time will heal the raw pain of Gracie’s loss, but your love for her will only grow in your memories of time gone by.
Gracie had a wonderful life with you and your family. She enriched your life and you hers.
Take good care of yourself now during this stressful time. Gracie would want you to.
Peace.
So much love and hugs and prayers to you dear Katrina…I have enjoyed your writing since your first book came out and my daughter was a toddler…She is 16 years old now….We had to have our 9 1/2 year old Samoyed, Angel, put down two months ago….We miss her terribly….rescued her from the ARL when she was 2 years old….we had gone to the ARL simply to “pet a bunny” as we had promised my daughter a Maltese puppy in the summer….it was the middle of February and in Iowa, that means COLD and SNOW! So here was this 60 lb. white fur ball! I asked my daughter if she wanted still to wait for a Maltese or would she like to adopt this darling dog, who the worker told us was an “angel”…..There was no hesitation, we adopted her, and named her “Angel”….That she was….the PERFECT PET…she was the first dog I ever owned….she didn’t bark for days, I finally barked to see if she would bark! She wasn’t one to bark a lot, mostly at the UPS driver only because the neighbor’s Brittany taught her to do that! It was a very snowy February and I found out that Samoyeds are often used in the Iditarod…so I piled on wool long underwear and heavy boots and we were out running, she pulled me, in the snow 5 times a day…it was a blast and a happy memory…even when it was 5 degrees, I never got cold! In the warmer months, Angel would sit out front and watch the resident bunnies and squirrels eat the various Milk Bones on the front lawn without even barking! She adored children….and adults. But anytime she heard a young child’s voice, her whole face would change…and I would try to figure out where they were so she could go see them….of course they loved her too. She was in the car taking my daughter to school every single day since 5th grade…and bringing her home…she adored the children…even the Principal, Mrs. Oliver, referred to Angel at 5th Grade graduation, she said, she felt Angel wanted to come to school. She was right about that! Angel would have been supremely happy at school watching the kids and caring for them. I always felt she was kind of a “nanny”…I told her she was a VIP….”Very Important Puppy” I read on the website for Samoyeds that they originated in Siberia and were raised not only to herd reindeer, but to protect children and to keep them warm at night….Also that they love all mankind, and that they carry Christmas in their heart every day of the year. We found all of those things to be true. I felt every single day I had her that it was a miracle she was in my life. I never took her for granted, not for one day….I have great peace knowing she felt fully and completely loved every single day. She adored dairy products, and the vet told us some dairy was fine unless she wasn’t getting enough dog food for her nutrients….so we would go to Dairy Queen and I would get her small dishes of vanilla now and then…I often called her my “Dairy Queen”…. My daughter and I cuddled with her every single night….she knew she was my other child. I told her she was always in my heart, and there she will always be, forever….and in my daughter’s heart also….She came to us 5 days after a best friend of mine had passed on….we know the universe/God sent her to us…and we are so grateful for all the furry Angels that inhabit the lives of humanity, teaching us the power of living in the moment, unconditional love, wonder, joy, wet kisses, dirty paws don’t matter…only love and kindness truly matter…..
Sorry, I hit “Post” twice, please feel free to delete one of them! I can’t seem to do it from here…:))
Also I want to apologize for the length of my comment….I should have explained that Angel was a big comfort after my best friend’s passing, and also for other reasons…I have had a lot of challenges in my life due to my family….and Angel’s presence was such a comfort for the 7 1/2 years we had her. I found out that Samoyeds are often used as therapy dogs….I understand why!
Dear Katrina, We’re so sad to hear this news! Sending you much, much love, and courage for the coming weeks and months. You and Steve and the boys are in our hearts. xxxooo
Katrina, I am so sorry for your families loss of your special Gracie. Our pets are such special parts of our families. We lost our much loved cat Dixie this past summer. As with your Gracie, Dixie had been a part of our family since before my now 16 yr old son was born. She was always watching over him and I take comfort in the fact that she enjoyed her last afternoon sitting on my son’s lap with her family gathered together.
Katrina: Thanks ever so much for the post. As a “mom” to two teenagers and a 4 year old German Shorthaired pointer, I know just what you mean about our dogs bridging our families’ transitions. My son will go to college next year, leaving his younger sister (and us) behind…I am sure our Baxter will be a huge comfort for us all. I know it is no consolation, but just remember all of the love you put back into the world by having Gracie in your life, and how lucky she was to have lived with you all. Peace to you and yours.
What a beautiful tribute to your precious pup. Brings tears and smiles. Thank you for sharing your always touching sentiment. Sending love to you all.
Dear Katrina
I am so sorry for your loss. I also have lost a beloved dog companion and so I know how hearbreaking it is. Gracie sounds like a lovely girl I wish I had made her aquaintance. I know from your touching tribute and from getting to know you a wee bit throught your writing that she was such a blessing to you and your family.
Take care of yourself
Beth
My deepest condolences, Katrina. I remember reading about Gracie in your books and so I felt a bit like I knew her. My lab mix, Rody, is near the end of her life. In the nearly 14 years she has been my companion, she has brought me so much joy. I get choked up thinking about a day when I will come home and she won’t be there. Thank you for writing so beautifully about this loss.
Our only son has been grown and gone from home for 15 years, and during the past eleven of those years our two little dogs have filled all the empty spaces he left behind. It is their grace, their comfort, their undying and unconditional love and acceptance that make our days so much brighter.
Thank you for sharing this story of your journey with Gracie. I will hold you in my thoughts as your grow accustomed to life without her.
Mary Oliver seems to know a lot about loving and letting go period. Dog Songs is on my list, though I’ve yet to read it. Our boxer Bandit died in his sleep in 2006. Sorry for your loss.
Tears falling fast on my desk. I am thinking of you, Katrina, and wishing I could do something more than say that. xoxo
Thank you for sharing Gracie with us here. Our yellow lab is just over a year right now, and I sometimes wonder at the vulnerability I’ve welcomed into our family—knowing, best case scenario, we will all outlive our new love. I hear my boys in whispers talking about how they are going to invent something that will allow dogs to live to 100 like humans. Maybe one of dogs’ many gifts to us humans is the example of letting go. A love-filled, active life and graceful death is the least we can give back, and I’m so grateful you shared that part of the story as well.
Good bye gracie
God bless Katrina and Felix. I held my little chico in my arms with his favorite sweater on at the vet’s, tears streaming down my face, while the vet was getting him ready to go with god. He looked at me as if to tell me “thank you, no more pain.” Then my little pal of 14 years rested in peace and now he is waiting at rainbow bridge for Gracie, to tell her everything is ok. Now they are greeting my sister Tina’s friend Felix at rainbow bridge and they are all running into the meadow, romping around pain-free. God bless.
My heart breaks for you as I remember the pain of saying goodbye to my two pets – first Auggie the dalmatian, then Renee the greyhound. My heart is with you, Katrina. Rest in peace, Gracie.
My heart hurts for your loss, Katrina. We rescued our two little Doxies not knowing that they would be rescuing us. They have saved my life after the loss of our daughter and I can’t stand the thought of every losing my “girls”. I truly believe God sent them to us when he did because he knew we were going to need them more.
Katrina, so sorry for your loss. Dogs have such great souls and mean so much to us from day to day – that unconditional love. Pets are the only creatures that give us that and it is SO special! You, Steve, and the boys, who are now men, are certainly in my thoughts and prayers. Know you have many wonderful memories of Gracie. So glad she was a part of your lives.
I am so sorry for your loss of Gracie. Your words brought tears to my eyes. I have my first dog now with my four boys and a daughter. Your words give me so much to think about.
So sorry. Peace and love to you all.
We just lost our dog of 15 years in August. I understand your feelings of loss and the emptiness of the house. We still feel his presence and often have the urge to walk him, let him out or the need to get home to him when we are out and about. There is nothing like a dog in your life!!!
Their lives are far too short, and I’ve had to say goodbye too many times in my years of breeding Shelties, living with them and loving them as family members. My heart aches with the familiarity of your loss.
We’re currently sharing our lives with a wonderful Labrador Retriever. He’s only eight, but already his chin is greying and I’m reminded that the larger breeds don’t often live as long as the smaller ones… that we may not have him as long as we had each of our Shelties. It’s not something I want to think about right now.
May you be comforted by your wonderful memories and by your family who shares them.
Dear Katrina, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing Gracie with us.
I had two beloved dogs growing up–Yo-Yo and Griffin–and both were dearly missed. I still miss them, Yo-Yo especially. Oh the things she put up with from three little girls.
Two years ago our neighbors were fostering a dog who had moved from it’s original rescue home in Cancun, Mexico, to one in Minneapolis. (There are enough interested owners for all the rehabilitated street dogs in Cancun.)
We weren’t in the market for a dog. We felt our plates were too full (and Donny is slightly allergic). But then we both met Aguita and a seed was planted. Then our neighbors had to go out of town the weekend before Christmas and we took care of Aguita for a few days. Well, that was it. We all–all four of us–fell in love with her. We returned Aguita to our neighbors after the weekend, but secretly did the paperwork and home visit so that Christmas morning our neighbors could bring her over for the girls.
Now I can’t imagine our family without her. She’s loving and smart and puts up with Zoe’s head-lock kind of adoration. I would love to read her some Mary Oliver aloud.
xoxo
Kate
So sorry for your loss, Katrina. Two of my friends lost their dogs in the last couple of months, and both said the same thing about their pets letting them know when it was time to go. Gracie is joining KC and Maggie in heaven, and I am sure they are pain free and chasing tennis balls together. In my prayers.
Oh dear Katrina. I sobbed all the way through this beautifully written piece. I knew over the years how much Gracie meant to you and your family. Thank you again for sharing your journey of this life with us. It truly inspires me and gives me hope. Sending much love, support, and blessings.
As a fellow dog lover (and recent empty nester), I can imagine your pain, sadness, and loneliness. My heart goes out to you, Katrina.
I’ve been told that “losing them is part of having them,” which struck me as a nice nugget of wisdom, but still it didn’t soften the blow when it came time to say goodbye. We lost our miniature dachshund, Zoë, in April, and didn’t last two weeks before welcoming a new puppy into our lives. When we dropped little Josie off to be spayed last week, the vet tech took one look at the fuzzy white blanket that accompanied her and said: “That’s Zoë’s blankie!”
I’d like to say I didn’t start crying until you spoke of telling Gracie the story of her life — I did the same thing as I held Zoë in the car during her final drive to the vet last April — but the truth is, I started crying when I saw your headline and that beautiful pic.
How lucky Gracie was to have spent her life with the largehearted Kenisons.
xoxo
So sorry for your loss. We lost our beloved yellow lab, Honey, to cancer also. She was 11 years old. She was the puppy we got when our children were young. She was my companion and protector through a divorce , being single with two young children, and remarriage. She is in every Christmas and birthday photo with us for 11 years, because she was always there…constant, devoted, loving, protective…. I missed her tremendously for a long time. Coming home was the worst, knowing she wouldn’t be there to greet me. I would wake up at night trying to step over her usual spot beside my bed and then realize with deep sadness that she was gone. It took me quite a while to open my heart up to a new dog, but eventually I did. Dogs make a house more of a home. “The only problem with dogs” my husband says, “is that they don’t live long enough.” But we love them while they are with us, and we treasure their memories when they are gone.
RIP, Gracie.
Such lovely writing. I am sorry for your loss. The loss of a dog is always so hard. I sometimes think I don’t want to go through it again and won’t get another dog. But, then I remember all the love and joy, and I open my heart again. Our current dog is a rescue, and when my daughter leaves for college in the fall, she will be a comfort to us and her sister. I agree with so many of the other posts about the wonderful relationships we have with our pets. Gracie was blessed to have you, and blessed that you were kind enough to let her go.
My heart hurts for you and your loss of Gracie, Katrina. Wishing peace for you and your family.
Dear Katrina,
I follow your blog quite regularly, and I suspected that the long time between your last post and yesterday’s meant something was up with Gracie. Gracie sounds like she was a wonderful companion, more than that, a member of your family.
We got a standard poodle 9 years ago – Charley, short for Charlemagne, and he has changed our lives. I was never a dog person, and consequently did not understand the pure and simple joy a dog could bring to a family. Charley is a ‘Mama’s Boy’ and a Dad’s playmate; he is my mother’s protective and watchful companion and my daughter’s best friend.
This summer as my daughter and only child, got ready to enter her senior year, and Charley developed some disk problems, and my mother sank further into her dementia, I craved a new puppy. An heir and a spare. We bought Percy from the same breeder where we had bought Charley. They are as different as night and day. I thought at the time, in my organized and efficient way, that if we got another dog before Charley died, it would make his passing easier. Well, that was crazy. I didn’t take into account how a dog(s) comes into your life, settle in around the members of a family, and make you theirs.
Just so sad…but I think Gracie had a wonderful life and she enriched your lives for 13 years. Dogs make us better people, don’t they?
Our dogs are our faithful companions, loving us unconditionally from puppyhood and beyond. I understand your loss. May the longtime sun shine upon you and all love surround you.
My dog, Ossian (Sheem for short), taught me more about love in the 13 years I had him than I knew in all the years before. He was an Irish farm dog, recognizable here in the US as a Border collie, and I was his job. Because of my own illness, we didn’t get to have the life I had planned for us, with sheep for him — but Sheem had utter flexibility to adjust and still have a grand life. He was the most popular dog in town!
As he aged, the cold hand of worry and fear would grip my heart, wondering how I would take care of him if he got sick, how we would manage — but he took care of that, too — I came home one day to find him dead in the upstairs hallway, headed in across my bedroom threshold. There hadn’t been any illness. I could tell he went down in mid-stride, and went out like a comet, radiant being that he was. To this day, I still feel like one of the luckiest humans to have had such a dog at my side. Katrina, you are so right, our dogs are repositories of love and transformation for the time they spend in our lives. They are grails of unstinting loyalty, making memories with us, teaching us to cherish and bloom in the moment. Thank you for sharing Gracie’s passing with all of us — yes, it has brought up tears and memories, but everyone who has posted here has also experienced a resurgence of gratitude for those extraordinary dog lives that coupled with theirs. I affirm for you and your family all the love and solace that is flowing your way, with Gracie herding it all to you from across the Rainbow Bridge…
Peace and Comfort,
Claire
Dear Katrina,
My heart goes out to you and your family. We lost our beloved golden retriever the same weekend as the Sandy Hook tragedy. It was so difficult to be mourning the loss of our Abby at the same time so many families were mourning the loss of their loved ones. Yet, we recognize the loss of Abby was still a huge loss for us, too.
My son brought home a beagle puppy on Christmas Eve, 9 days after Abby died. Although we weren’t ready for a new puppy so soon, Scout has helped us “feel the love” for a four legged friend, again, without ever thinking of him as a replacement for the love and devotion we shared with Abby. May you take comfort in the memories of your precious time with Gracie.
You have captured the transition of life so well. Our 13-year-old Chip runs to the door to greet his “Daddy” just like the boys used to. And now that one son is out of our home and the other just about on his way as well, our dog’s slower pace matches ours as well. He now lays with us in the family room where the boys once laid, filling that empty gap that hits your heart as you move out of the involved parenting role. I try not to think what life will be like when Chip is gone. The silence will scream in my ears.
What a lucky dog to have you there loving her unconditionally as she’s done for you through the years. Touched and choking back a knot in my throat at the thought of having to say goodbye to our 1 year old lab one day but hoping we can give him a life of love like Gracie had. Sorry for your great loss.
I have only recently started reading your books and your blog, and I still had tears running down my face as I read about Gracie. In a few years my children will leave the house and my dog will be at the end of her life, and I can’t help but question my timing on that decision! Your books have helped me tremendously. So, so sorry for your loss.
I remember reading these passages about Gracie and your boys when the book first came out. So sad and yet bittersweet to know she lived such a rich and full life. I have two Dalmatians who are among the geriatric crowd and your essay here gives me faith I can face the day when each tells me it is their turn. I love Mary Oliver and her essays and poems a treasure.
How meaningful,that I found this post tonight. I spent the day being with my friends as they said goodbye to their 13 year old cat today. I spent the day thinking about what pets mean to us and dreading the day not too far in the future when we’ll have to say goodbye to our 10 year old great pyrenees. Blessings to you and your family.
I am snuggling with my ten year old best friend Hazel as I write. My favorite line about dogs comes from Will Rogers: If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die, I want to go where they went.
I couldn’t agree more.
So sorry about Gracie, our dogs have shared a similar special place in our family.
Thank you for sharing Gracie’s journey. What a beautiful spirit. I feel certain she knew she was unconditionally loved. May you see her again over the Rainbow Bridge.
Katrina,
So very sorry for your loss of sweet Gracie. May her memories be a blessing for your family and may time heal your heart.
Hugs to you and your family.
Oh Katrina what a gift these dogs are and what a hole they leave. My husband and I are in the happy early years of our rescue poodle-bichon Zoe. She is our late in life baby and helps us weather the empty nest. We are so sad for you and your family. I am sure you take comfort in knowing that Gracie knew you gave her that ” last full measure” of love and care. Thoughts are with you.
Holly in Texas and summers in Zoe’s favorite place, Washington, NH
Thank you for inspiring me to remember again our border collie mix, now gone almost 10 years, and for giving me an excuse to cry again over our 14-year-old yellow lab to whom we had to say goodbye just 2 months ago. Named Happy, he often wasn’t, having been abandoned in a house as a pup, then neglected by everyone who rented the house until he was 9, when he was finally rescued. That’s where we came in – we adopted him to teach our too-frisky golden and Aussie mix Wily some maturity and grace. Magically, it worked, and they were good company to each other for 5 short years. Even to the end, Happy wanted nothing as much as to chase and catch balls. We miss him, but we’re all better for having known Happy, including our now good dog friend and companion, Wily.
oh, if only they could live longer…and if only every single dog in this world could be loved and leave this life so treasured. She was a lucky dog and you were a lucky family to have her – she sounds like she fit into your family just like ball and glove fit together.
My sympathies – having lost dogs and other treasured animals, the absence of them is just as heartbreaking as watching them grow older. With one of our dogs, after he was gone, the silence at night, where I used to hear a thump as he settled into “his chair” would cue the tears, yet while he was alive and thumping into that chair on a regular basis, I couldn’t have named the sound – it was the loss of that sound that gave it voice it seemed.
Lastly, although it always seems impossible, the love we have for our animals is continued on in our next ones – I’ve never added another dog with the intent of filling a hole that can’t be filled, and sometimes it’s taken longer than other times, but my life was just meant to be accompanied by a dog, simple as that. They are never replacements, just continuations of that animal and human bond.
Good bye sweet Gracie – may you find many balls, boys, and wild turkeys to chase in heaven!
My dog was also named Gracie. She was with me a short 7 years only, but helped me through an extremely challenging time. So this post comes as a reminder of the power and grace of pet friends. Synchronistically too, I just finished this morning Stephanie Weaver’s book, Golden Angels: A Pet Loss Memoir. It is a fresh, familiar and comfortable approach to loss, grief, and the special love of a dog. You might enjoy it ~ http://reciperenovator.com/my-books/golden-angels/
“And it is exceedingly short, this galloping life. Dogs die so soon.” ~ Inspiration to live fully, love openly. Thanks for your beautiful post.
Thank you for this lovely gift, and for sharing Gracie with us through it. I am so sorry for your loss.
Our dog, Tyler, also a border collie, helped my son grow up. An incredible dog–much like your Gracie. What love these dogs give us!
Love this Christine! Beautiful dog rules for we humans to live by!
I meant to reply first to Christine above who left the 15 rules to live by, but it posted at the end of the comments! Katrina my heartfelt sympathy for your loss of your beloved Gracie! I had a beloved Alice who was a sheltie we “rescued “, who we had the privilege of loving for 10 years! She was 14 when she passed, when she let us know, “it was time.” She too had cancer. Honestly too much sadness to relive right now. Wishing you peace and love.
Laughter, Happiness, Smiles, Joy, Companionship, Trust, Loyal, Hugs, Wet tongue kisses, Big brown eyes and Love
Wow, did I need to read this today. We just found out on Tuesday that our beloved chocolate lab Ellie has bone cancer, and I’ve been crying ever since. I knew this day would come…I just didn’t think it would be Tuesday;) Thanks for this -I am sure I will be reading it again in the coming weeks.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I love the stories you tell here of Gracie.
What a beautiful remembering of your Gracie. Reading it brought back the loss of our Annie. I remember that the day after she died, we took my father-law to the funeral of a family member. It was a three hour drive. Our Annie loved the woods, and I felt like I could see her running in the woods beside the road as we traveled down the interstate. She ran joyously all the way there and back home again. I “watched” her run with tears in my eyes and joy in my heart.
One of my favorite sayings is: Our goal in life should be – to be as good a person as our dog thinks we are! Imagine if humans treated each other with the same enthusiasm as our dog does. I know the day will one day come when I will say goodbye to my chocolate lab. She is 14 years old and has been a dedicated newspaper retriever for that many years. What a treat it is, rain or shine, for our Java to run to the sidewalk and retrieve the newspaper and happily bring it inside. That is loyalty. I know how it feels to lose the love of a dog. Our first chocolate lab was 12 1/2 when she died. She was hospitalized and we thought it was the end. The vet said we could take her home and wait. I picked up my ailing dog with my 4 year old daughter and headed straight to the photography studio at the mall. I asked them to just snap as many photos as you can because this is the last holiday card the two will ever share. A ballerina and a dog with a black top hat. What an incredible photo they snapped! She died in our arms later that night. I send my deepest paw sympathy to you. May time heal your sadness.
What a moving tribute to your sweet Gracie. I’m so sorry to hear the news. Peace to you during this difficult time.
Oh Katrina. I am so sorry to hear of Gracie’s passing. Losing a beloved pet not an easy thing by any means. Though I had never met your Gracie I feel like I knew her as you often mentioned her in your posts and in your books. I too have a dog and am amazed at how much he has brought to our lives. In fact, I am not sure where I’d be without him. With two of our boys away at university and losing my youngest son, Will, our chocolate lab (Finn) helps fill up our empty house. Just like your Gracie. Know that I am thinking about you and hoping that you can find some comfort in all your beautiful memories of your special Gracie.
I am here at my desk in the kitchen with our little 17 year old (in people years, even) jack russell, abbey, lying in her bed next to me. Yesterday I needed to buy dog food and I bought the small bag, after years of buying big ones. I hope I need to buy another but…
She is the puppy to whom my 17 year old son came home from the hospital as a newborn. she is the puppy my 7 and 11 year old daughters, now adults, played with and loved. She is the puppy who still chases the outdoor cats from the deck every morning, once she gets her bones going. She is the puppy who still loves her half and half splashed into her special blue willow dish when she comes inside. I love her so much. I’m so sorry for your loss and so happy you had Gracie in your lives.
Katrina – what a gifted writer you are and how you help us to celebrate and treasure the everyday moments. Gracie was blessed to be in your family and blessed your family each and every day of her life. We have an 8 year old jackapoo, Dawson, who is the joy of our lives. He came into our lives as a birthday gift from one of my first graders who brought his brother for show and tell. Thinking my husband would say “NO” if I asked him if he wanted a puppy, I just brought 7 week old Dawson home on a Friday afternoon, and he and my husband have been best buds ever since. Dawson came to school with me for almost four years and was the best friend of all my first graders. In early February this year while walking Dawson, a German Shephard got out of his yard and attacked Dawson. That was the worst experience of my life, seeing my dog being mauled and I couldn’t get him to let go of Dawson. Finally, the owner heard my screaming and got the dog off. We rushed him to the emergency vet and the prognosis was not good. His stomach had been split and his intestines were outside his body, among other injuries. Thankfully, Dawson did survive and after a long recovery, he is good as new. The thought of loosing him was almost more than we could bear. Dogs are the most wonderful companion one can have. All they want to do is love you and be there for you. May joyful memories of Gracie always remain in your heart.
As usual, you put into words exactly how I feel. It is so hard to lose our pets. They are such a big part of our lives. I have a Gracie too. She came to us when my now 14 year old daughter, was 4. I can still see her running around after her in the yard. She is looking older but never fails to greet us when we walk in the door, or to get excited every time I put on my tennis shoes, anticipating a walk! I know you miss your Gracie. As much joy as she gave you and your family, you all certainly gave her all the love and happiness a dog could ever want! I know you miss her. Peace to you all.
By pure happenstance (or is there such a thing? Maybe not….) I stumbled upon your post thanking your readers for the comfort they offered you on the loss of your beloved dog Gracie. Your graceful post of thanks brought me to this wonderfully written, lyrical love letter to Gracie and the gifts of life she bestowed upon you and your family. I too send you thoughts of healing in this hard path of loss, which is almost impossible to understand until it happens to you. It’s especially true when the children are grown and gone, and the emotional investment in the dog/s they’ve left behind grows exponentially to make up for the void those kids have created by moving on.
Thanks for being a writer, and sharing these insights. I just signed up for your blog and will look forward to reading more of your work. We seem to share some timelines in life, and some geography. I noticed you’re doing a reading at The New England Mobile Book Fair in Newton Highlands, MA in the next month or so. I grew up in Newton Highlands and the biggest treat in the world was a trip to the Mobile Book Fair and actually BUY (not rent from the library) real books. Fun to look back to those earlier lifetimes and remember what they felt like from this vantage point.
In any case, may your memories of Gracie and the love she brought your family bring you comfort in the days and months ahead.
Olivia
As my sweet dog “Baby” snores on her perch on the couch, I read your post with a lump in my throat. Through all your writings, I feel I have gotten to know Gracie as well as all your family. She was so fortunate to love and be loved by your whole crew. I hope you can weather her absence and cherish her memory.
I don’t know what to say which is why I have postponed writing a comment, but you have been in my thoughts daily since I heard about Gracie. She sounded like a most amazing dog and I feel in a way I know her since I have read your books and I continue to read your blog entries. I wish there was something I could say to ease the pain, but there is not. Just know you are in my daily thoughts and prayers and thanks for sharing your loss with us.
The soul could have no rainbows if our eyes could have no tears.
-Anonymous
Mary Ann
My friends mercilessly (in fun) tease me about my love for our Chocolate Lab, Sadie. Many of my friends had dogs and when they greeted me at their houses I would say, “Nice dog…go away.” I did not want a dog and had no intention of ever having one. I went to college later in life and became a teacher, and just couldn’t think about all of the extra work a dog would add to MY life, knowing it would fall ultimately to me. Not to mention, that our housing situation never allowed pets. Of course, I saw this as a great mantra excuse for not having one. “Sorry, kids, we aren’t allowed to have pets.” Whew! Saved by the Bell! But, when we finally moved into a house for the first time, our four children were quick to remind us that there was no longer a “No Pet Rule”. We were cornered! Well, I was…my husband was still pretty adamant, but in 2003, I defied my husband as leader of the household believing we were denying our children a right of passage to have a dog. I loaded the kids into the van while he was at work one evening and Eric, our 20 year old, drove to a farmhouse in the Iowa countryside and he and our daughters, Jamie, 17; Michelle, 13, and Brian, 10 picked out our FIRST dog. Sadie was the runt and we were certain we had saved her from a puppy mill. When we took her to the vet she had worms, hence the rolly polly tummy. She was born on the Fourth of July and the names thrown out were Sparkles and Bailey, but I won with Sadie. Mom rules!! Long story, short…OUR SADIE has been just what researchers say, the calming force and counselor of the family. I’ve often said if kids were as easy as dogs…buy a bag of dog food once a month and scoop a cup twice a day into a bowl…they greet you happy and tail wagging. Anyone with a dog has experienced the unconditional love. She provides love, companionship, games, entertainment, and consolation! She has an individual relationship with each of us. My oldest son was her trainer, along with myself. Sadie is connected to him and will obey his every word. Just like my children, Sadie will obey me, but she knows I’m a softie and will continue her antics until she knows I’m serious! Sadie has a healthy respect for my husband, jumping off our bed the moment she hears him ascending the stairs. She seems to know he is the boss and only in our home because of my rebellion! My girls love to have her on their bed to snuggle and run with. My youngest son wrestles with her on the ground as like playmates. This dog I never wanted has united our family and given us more joy than I ever imagined. I have seen my children bond with one another through Sadie as they unite to take her on a walk or run, a trip to the lake, or woods. She is my companion on my walks and in the alone times when my husband is late at work and the new territory of adult children and empty nest time embraces me. I know the time will come to say goodbye and that is another reason I think I’ve never wanted a pet. Having lost both of my parents young in my life, saying goodbye is hard, but this dog I NEVER wanted is one of my greatest joys and companion. She is 11 this 4th of July! She has been a living “sparkler” in our lives and despite the knowing that we will have to part with her at her God given time, our lives and family would not have been complete without her. So, Never say NEVER to a man’s (families) best friend!!