{"id":575,"date":"2011-05-06T11:50:56","date_gmt":"2011-05-06T15:50:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.katrinakenison.com\/?p=575"},"modified":"2011-05-06T11:50:56","modified_gmt":"2011-05-06T15:50:56","slug":"happy-mothers-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/happy-mothers-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy Mother’s Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Every year, I tell my sons what I\u2019d like for Mother\u2019s Day: a letter. Something written from the heart and offered freely rather than bought from a store and wrapped neatly. I don\u2019t always get my wish, nor do I always take the time to write to my own mother. (Yes, it really is so much easier to buy a card, choose some flowers, indulge in a nice dinner out.)<\/p>\n

This year will be a first — my boys will be in two different states on Mother\u2019s Day, my mom and dad will be away together, and I\u2019ll be driving home from a writer\u2019s workshop in Massachusetts. Thinking of the many friends who have already lost their mothers, and the few who have lost children, I am deeply grateful that what separates us, for now at least, is merely distance. It won\u2019t always be so, and there is no way to prepare for that fact other than to appreciate the moment that is. My sons know that they can please me on Sunday with a phone call or an e-mail, and that much as I love their words, the very best gift they can possibly give me is their own happiness, the very fact of their busy, full, well-lived lives.<\/p>\n

Still, knowing that my years of receiving breakfast in bed and hand-drawn Crayola cards are over, I do feel the bittersweet bruise of change upon my heart. The truth is, I sort of miss being the center of the universe to two little boys. And this manufactured holiday can be a bit painful, a bittersweet reminder of what was, what is no longer, what will never be again.<\/p>\n

I wonder if my own mother ever felt nostalgic for the passing of my childhood. I wonder if she realizes that she is still at the center of my universe and always has been. I don’t often pause to think about it, but of course she is the one person who has been right there, at my side and on my side, from the moment I drew my very first breath. How to ever fully appreciate the woman whose presence and love and example have shaped me into the adult I am? How to capture even a small part of the sharing, sacrificing, and support she has given me over the years?<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t possibly do you justice, Mom, nor give voice to all the memories, but here are just a few that come to mind:<\/p>\n

I remember the bracelet, dark red and blue shoe-buttons strung on elastic, that I made for you in kindergarten when I was five, the first Mother\u2019s Day gift fashioned by my hand. I remember seeing it for years, tucked in the corner of the jewelry box on your dresser where you kept it, loved and treasured if not worn.<\/p>\n

I remember soft pajamas with feet and Sunday night suppers served on TV trays in the living room. You gave us Welsh rabbit on Saltines, milk in gray plastic mugs with brightly colored rims, The Wonderful World of Disney, and a bedtime that was the same every night. I remember lullabies and \u201cMairzie Doates,\u201d and “Tell Me Why the Stars Do Shine” and the comfort of knowing, because you told me again and again, that I was good and well-loved and would always be taken care of.<\/p>\n

I remember the first deliberate lie I tried to get away with, and how you somehow saw right through it and gave me time to figure out for myself that the truth would be better.<\/p>\n

I remember that I could not, would not, put my face under water at the Air Force pool. I remember that, to my huge relief, you didn\u2019t make me do it. And I also remember two small Dutch dolls, a girl and a boy, with wooden shoes and painted faces. I remember you giving them to me on a hot summer day for no reason at all, except, perhaps, because that was the afternoon when I finally coaxed my terrified self all the way into that pool.<\/p>\n

I remember peeking through the keyhole of your bedroom door late at night, hoping for a black and white glimpse of Danny Kaye on TV, and hoping I wouldn\u2019t get in too much trouble if you found me crouching there. I remember you taking me by the hand and leading me back to bed and tucking me in with a kiss.<\/p>\n

I remember the only good part about being sick: your cool hand on my forehead as I knelt in front of the toilet bowl, retching up dinner. The comfort of being held. A cool washcloth. Clean sheets, a night breeze through the window, peace.<\/p>\n

I remember a bedroom done over, just for me,<\/p>\n

I remember a bright pink corduroy jumper that you sewed on the green Singer, and a shirt with daisies growing up the front, and playing dress up in your filmy blue nightgown and pearls, tottering down the driveway in your shoes, feeling like a princess in your grown-up things.<\/p>\n

I remember Easter baskets and Easter dresses and your hand on my knee in church. The ting-a-ling on Christmas Eve, the tiny bronze angels pinging against the hot chimes as you read the story of Jesus\u2019s birth from the book of Matthew. I remember watching you stuff turkey after turkey after turkey, a lifetime\u2019s worth of turkeys roasted and holiday meals served and cleaned up after. I remember the kitchen table set with plates and silverware and folded napkins, every single night of our lives.<\/p>\n

I remember finding your most precious books in a chest in Grammie Stanchfield\u2019s attic, studying your careful, girlish penmanship, absorbing the shock of your maiden name inscribed all those years ago on the faded inside cover of “Black Beauty.” I remember being stunned by the realization of your childhood, the fact that you had once been a little girl yourself, and that you had had a whole, complete life before me.<\/p>\n

I remember summer evenings, you reading out loud as we sprawled on John\u2019s bed, scratching at mosquito bites and patches of poison ivy. The Family Finds Out<\/em>, The Borrowers<\/em>, Misty of Chincoteague<\/em>. I remember wishing the books would never end, that you wouldn\u2019t turn out the light, that the day didn\u2019t have to be over so soon.<\/p>\n

I remember that you always called your mother on the day of the first snowfall of winter. I remember the day you lost her.<\/p>\n

I remember when you allowed me to buy \u201cMagical Mystery Tour\u201d and bring my phonograph outside on the back deck and play The Beatles really loud. I remember being in the back seat of our red Plymouth Fury as you drove along, eyes on the road, and explained to me about sex. And I remember being disappointed that it sounded so weird and unfun. I remember, cringing a bit even now, the first bra you bought me and how embarrassed I was — by the color (red!!), the name (\u201cLittle Me\u201d), the prospect of wearing it, the very possibility of breasts.<\/p>\n

I remember countless long walks in the woods and one picnic lunch on the stoop of an abandoned house, and an early morning breakfast we carried up into the low, embracing branches of a special tree. I remember admitting to my best friend at school that you were my best friend.<\/p>\n

I remember how good you looked on a horse. Back tall and straight, hands quiet, heels down. I remember how nervous you were about riding and that you did it anyway. I remember the day you flew a plane by yourself — and I remember thinking, “I will never do that.\u201d<\/p>\n

I remember confiding in you ahead of time that I was going to sleep with my boyfriend, and then realizing that you might have preferred not to know. I remember wanting to tell you all about it the next day and forcing myself, for your sake, to keep quiet.<\/p>\n

I remember going out to lunch, just you and me, the day before I left for college, at a long-gone place called The Avocado, and ordering a drink, and feeling sadness and excitement all mixed up together, already missing you on the one hand and, on the other, just itching to be gone.<\/p>\n

I remember that you filled a house with hearts and flowers on Valentines Day, when you thought my lukewarm romance needed a little push, and that I was mortified and touched and then had to give you credit. (Would I be married today, if not for those ridiculous cut-out cupids and candy hearts and strategically placed love poems?)<\/p>\n

I remember the two of us, eating lobster and drinking wine, two nights before my wedding, and how much fun we had picking flowers and making bouquets for every single guest room. I remember a moment just before the ceremony, when we stood in the bedroom in the house in Maine, and said something that felt like a good-bye and a hello at the same time. I remember your funny, relieved curtsey in the kitchen on the morning after, when every wedding task was done, and I was finally married to the right man, and you could relax at last.<\/p>\n

I remember when Henry was born, how you somehow managed — despite your dread of city driving, despite not having any idea where the hospital was — to get there anyway, to be right at my side when I became a mother myself. I remember how completely, utterly glad I was to see you.<\/p>\n

And I remember the night, three years later, when my water broke and I told you not to hurry, there was plenty of time. I remember that you ignored me and jumped in your car and came anyway — just in time, of course, for Steve to rush me to the hospital.<\/p>\n

I remember all the ways you have loved and cared for my children these last twenty-one years, how gracefully and joyfully you became a grandmother. How much I\u2019ve needed you to help me through the hard days of motherhood. And how, when there is something wonderful to report, you are always the first person I need to tell.<\/p>\n

I remember — and I know this still — that you have always believed in me, even when I couldn\u2019t believe in myself. We have believed in each another, taken care of one another\u2019s hearts, and shared one another\u2019s joys and sorrows for half a century. On this Mother\u2019s Day, I rejoice in our good fortune, the blessing of each other and of our lives as mother and daughter.<\/p>\n

Today, I wish for myself, for all mothers, the simple gifts of love and gratitude. May we remember that in living our own lives well, we offer our children the gift of good lives, too.<\/p>\n

From The Parent\u2019s Tao te Ching <\/em><\/p>\n

Words of Life
\n–by William Martin<\/p>\n

You can speak to your children of life,
\nbut your words are not life itself.
\nYou can show them what you see,
\nbut your showing and their seeing
\nare forever different things.<\/p>\n

You cannot speak to them of Divinity Itself.
\nBut you can share with them
\nthe millions of manifestations of this Reality
\narrayed before them every moment.
\nSince these manifestations have their origin
\nin the Tao,
\nthe visible will reveal the invisible to them.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t mistake your desire to talk for their
\nreadiness to listen.
\nFar more important are the wordless truths they
\nlearn from you.
\nIf you take delight in the ordinary wonders of life,
\nthey will feel the depth of your pleasure
\nand learn to experience joy.
\nIf you walk with them in the darkness of life\u2019s mysteries,
\nyou will open the gate of understanding.
\nThey will learn to see in the darkness
\nand not be afraid.<\/p>\n

Go for a slow and mindful walk.
\nShow them every little thing that catches your eye.
\nNotice every little thing that catches theirs.
\nDon\u2019t look for great lessons or seek to teach great things.
\nJust notice.
\nThe lesson will teach itself.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every year, I tell my sons what I\u2019d like for Mother\u2019s Day: a letter. Something written from the heart and offered freely rather than bought from a store and wrapped neatly. I don\u2019t always get my wish, nor do I always take the time to write to my own mother. (Yes, it really is so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15183,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[27,30,35,39,8,9,14],"tags":[99,226,302,324,430,472],"class_list":{"0":"post-575","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-family-life","8":"category-gratitude","9":"category-letting-go","10":"category-midlife","11":"category-parenting","12":"category-parenting-boys-parenting","13":"category-soul-work","14":"tag-boys","15":"tag-impermanence","16":"tag-mothers-day","17":"tag-parenting-2","18":"tag-the-parents-tao-te-ching","19":"tag-william-martin","20":"entry"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/600x600.png?fit=600%2C600","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/575","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=575"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/575\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15183"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=575"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=575"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=575"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}