{"id":298,"date":"2010-12-27T17:58:07","date_gmt":"2010-12-27T12:58:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.katrinakenison.com\/?p=298"},"modified":"2010-12-27T17:58:07","modified_gmt":"2010-12-27T12:58:07","slug":"soft-opening","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/soft-opening\/","title":{"rendered":"Soft Opening"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the restaurant business they call it a soft opening: the tables are set, the staff is fully engaged, and the chef\u2019s family and friends arrive at the door, full of good will and prepared to sample the menu while the kinks are still being worked out in the kitchen.<\/p>\n

I think of today\u2019s blog post as my own soft opening, here at this revamped website that I\u2019m just learning how to manage (thank goodness I have two techno-savvy sons at home this week to lend a hand as it goes \u201clive\u201d). I don\u2019t feel quite ready to invite the public at large, but I do hope that my regular readers, friends, and family will show up and check things out here in the newly designed digs. And please, let me know what you think — whether I\u2019ve got it right, whether it still needs a tweak or two, and most of all, whether this feels like a place that will draw you back.<\/p>\n

When my son Henry and I sat down to create my first website, a few weeks before \u201cThe Gift of an Ordinary Day\u201d was published, I had never even read a blog before, let alone written a post. I bought a basic package, he set up a couple of pages for me, and, at my publisher\u2019s behest, I began to type, not at all sure what I had to say or whether anyone would ever find their way to katrinakenison.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Now, nearly a year and a half later, I\u2019m finally ready to admit it: I love pausing here for a few hours each week to reflect on the ups and downs, the lights and shadows, of everyday life. I love the discipline required to shape some of those thoughts into words, and I love most of all the fact that it is always a two-way conversation. In sharing a bit of my own story, I\u2019m rewarded many times over by your willingness to write back and share your own.<\/p>\n

How blessed I feel, to be part of a greater community of fellow writers and readers, a grateful participant in an ongoing on-line dialogue about life, work, books, parenthood, growth, and change. It\u2019s a conversation that continually reminds me that, different as the details of our daily lives may be, we are all connected, and we are all asking ourselves some variation on the same questions: \u201cHave I loved well? Am I caring for the people around me, for my community, for the earth, to the best of my ability? Am I paying attention to the things that truly matter? Am I grateful enough, awake enough, to appreciate the life I have right here, right now, just as it is?\u201d<\/p>\n

A few days before Christmas, I set up a little private altar in our living room — a candle, an apple, a framed print of angels in flight given to me by my neighbor Debbie, and a prayer tucked into a sealed envelope. With a holiday to create for my family, a succession of meals to make and clean up after, the agendas of two grown sons to negotiate, various visits and commitments here and there, I knew how easy it would be to get so caught up in the \u201cdoing\u201d of Christmas that I would miss the \u201cbeing.\u201d Our boys are home for just a couple of weeks, the days are flying by, soon the house will be quiet once again, and these moments will be memories. And so I prayed for the presence of mind to be present. To have the grace to set aside my own expectations for this family time and to be, instead, the mother my sons need right now: loving without condition, flexible rather than insistent, grateful for what is right in front of me rather than judging each moment and finding it lacking, blessed with faith in my childrens\u2019 best selves and with enough wisdom to act from my own.<\/p>\n

I know I\u2019m not the only parent who enters into the holiday season with a mixture of anxiety and anticipation, not the only mother who concocts some \u201cideal\u201d of the way things should be, only to lose sight of the beauty of things as they are. But I sometimes think that I must be the slowest learner on the planet. Why else, year after year, do I need to learn the same old lesson all over again? Writing it down, putting my request for help and guidance into the hands of angels and the universe, helped me feel a little less vulnerable to my fears and a little closer to peace. And peace is what I am trying each day to cultivate in my heart. Such a small shift, really, from nameless fear to spacious peace. But what a difference in the way I relate to my husband, our sons, the unexpected twists and turns of the day. Living in fear is like being frozen. Relaxing into peace is like turning a face toward the sun, moving from frigid paralysis into warmth, love, life. As Mary Oliver has written, \u201cWhen the thumb of fear lifts, we are so alive.\u201d<\/p>\n

On Christmas Eve, it was just us four here, the first time we\u2019ve been without my parents, my brother, his wife and children. Steve and I had colds, sore throats, coughs. It was not the festive celebration I\u2019d envisioned; we were too sick for that. So quiet, I thought at first, such a letdown, to be sick and home alone on Christmas Eve, rather than surrounded by family or friends. But Henry and Steve did the supper dishes. Jack helped me put presents under the tree. And then we sat down together in the living room and read Truman Capote\u2019s \u201cA Christmas Memory,\u201d passing the book and taking turns, voices cracking. I loved listening to my sons read aloud. Presence was the present. It was, in fact, a perfect evening. Snow is falling here this morning; it has been snowing all night. There is nothing that needs doing, nowhere to go. The holiday is over, quiet reigns. And I\u2019m realizing that my heart this week has been undergoing its own soft opening, thanks to angels, and to sons who are growing up to be good men, and to a family that reminds me, daily, of the simple joy of giving love and being loved in return.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In the restaurant business they call it a soft opening: the tables are set, the staff is fully engaged, and the chef\u2019s family and friends arrive at the door, full of good will and prepared to sample the menu while the kinks are still being worked out in the kitchen. I think of today\u2019s blog […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15183,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,22,27,30,5,6,38,39,40,8,9,10,14,48,15],"tags":[52,89,118,215,270,324,448],"class_list":{"0":"post-298","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-acceptance","8":"category-change","9":"category-family-life","10":"category-gratitude","11":"category-hearth-home","12":"category-holidays","13":"category-marriage","14":"category-midlife","15":"category-mindfulness","16":"category-parenting","17":"category-parenting-boys-parenting","18":"category-parenting-teens","19":"category-soul-work","20":"category-the-gift-of-an-ordinary-day","21":"category-writing-and-reading","22":"tag-a-chrismtas-memory","23":"tag-blog","24":"tag-christmas","25":"tag-holidays-2","26":"tag-love","27":"tag-parenting-2","28":"tag-truman-capote","29":"entry"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/600x600.png?fit=600%2C600","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/298","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=298"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/298\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15183"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=298"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=298"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=298"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}