{"id":2819,"date":"2013-12-05T12:05:23","date_gmt":"2013-12-05T17:05:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.katrinakenison.com\/?p=2819"},"modified":"2013-12-05T12:05:23","modified_gmt":"2013-12-05T17:05:23","slug":"soul-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/soul-christmas\/","title":{"rendered":"The Soul of Solstice"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"dreamstime_s_31289215\"O<\/span>ne December when our sons were little, I hung a piece of paper painted a deep dark blue in our kitchen.\u00a0 \u201cA sky,\u201d I told them.\u00a0 I painted another piece of paper gold, cut out about a hundred small stars and put them in a basket, along with a glue stick.<\/p>\n

My hope was to distract the boys a bit from the idea of \u201cgetting\u201d things for Christmas, and to shift the emphasis instead to the kinds of simple acts of kindness that actually make us feel good inside ourselves.<\/p>\n

I knew I wouldn\u2019t have much luck telling them that the shortest route to happiness isn\u2019t paved with possessions.\u00a0 (Try explaining that to a six- year-old who has been trying to prioritize his Christmas list.) They wouldn\u2019t believe me if I suggested that more stuff doesn\u2019t ever equal a better life.\u00a0 Or that a sure-fire antidote to restlessness and craving is to do something nice for someone else.<\/p>\n

I wanted them to discover for themselves the joy of giving, the deeper meaning of the season.<\/p>\n

And so, for every random, unsolicited act of kindness anyone in the family did during the day, we placed a star into the sky.\u00a0 Each night at dinnertime, we turned off all the kitchen lights, lit candles in an Advent wreath on our table, held hands and said our grace.\u00a0 And then, as the painted sky filled with stars, we talked about opportunities we\u2019d each found during the day to do good deeds.<\/p>\n

The December of Good Deeds was such a long time ago. \u00a0For some unknown reason, we only did it once.\u00a0 And yet it is one of my favorite holiday memories, ever.<\/p>\n

L<\/span>ast night, Henry and Steve and I grabbed the afghans and lined up on the couch together to watch a couple of Tivoed episodes of “The Daily Show.” \u00a0The clips of shoppers mauling each other in a race to claim discounted printers, dollar DVDs, and Rachel Ray cookware on Black Friday were more horrifying than funny. \u00a0Jon Stewart didn\u2019t need to say much about the stabbing in Virginia over a parking space, the shooting at Kohl\u2019s, or the mayhem at Wal-Mart.\u00a0 There was no need to comment on Sarah Palin\u2019s claim last week that she loves the commercialization of Christmas, because it reminds us all that this is the \u201cmost cheerful holiday on the calendar.\u201d\u00a0 All he had to do was play the footage.<\/p>\n

This morning, I woke up early, still haunted and disturbed by those scenes. \u00a0We are warm and dry and safe and well-fed here.\u00a0 There is nothing anyone in my family needs or wants so badly that we would line up outside a store at 6 a.m. to get it. No one went shopping the day after Thanksgiving.<\/p>\n

But I also realize what a luxury our comfort is.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to take any of what I have for granted \u2013 not the food in our refrigerator, not the heat rising from the grates on the floor, not the laptop on which I type these words, nor the fact that, at 6:30 in the morning, I am privileged enough to be sitting on the couch in my pajamas writing a blog post, rather than driving through darkness to get to work on time.\u00a0 I can\u2019t even begin to know what it\u2019s like to live in a constant state of not-enough.<\/p>\n

And yet, I\u2019m certainly not immune to the pressures of the season.\u00a0 I may not agree with Sarah Palin in extolling the commercialization of Christmas, but I can\u2019t always resist it, either.\u00a0 In this season of short days and long, cold nights there is, perhaps, a nearly universal impulse to dispel the darkness.\u00a0 And what better way to escape the discomfort of our own dark places, anxious thoughts, and fears of scarcity than by rushing forth — out to the bright lights and cheerful music and super sales at the shopping mall?<\/p>\n

T<\/span>he winter solstice is a time when the natural world is still and dormant. Outside my own window this morning, the ground is frozen solid, the trees lightly coated with a scrim of ice.\u00a0 The only lights to be seen are the neighbor\u2019s holiday decorations, left aglow all night.\u00a0 The truth is, I would prefer complete darkness. \u00a0I realize that my own desire as the winter solstice approaches is to unplug, to fully experience the shortest days, the longest nights, the deepest shadows.<\/p>\n

Sitting here while the rest of my family sleeps, I\u2019m reminded how healing it feels to take my cues not from the culture but from nature.\u00a0 Each day this month, I can make a choice to slow down, to sit quietly, to turn inward, to reflect on my own hopes and goals for this season.\u00a0 Instead of banishing the silent darkness, I can welcome it.\u00a0\u00a0 Instead of trying to escape my complicated, pre-holiday feelings of sadness for times past and anxiety about the days to come, I can simply acknowledge them: my annual desire for things to be just so, my annual worry that they won\u2019t be.<\/p>\n

Later today Henry and I will decorate the Christmas tree he and Steve have already set up in living room.\u00a0 We will put on our favorite music, bring the decorations up from the basement, test out last year\u2019s strings of lights.\u00a0 My December to-do list is long \u2013 there are meals to plan, presents to buy and make and wrap and send, cards to write. \u00a0Jack will come home. \u00a0We will visit friends and uphold traditions. As always, the whole extended family will gather here on Christmas day for gifts and a brunch that lasts for hours. \u00a0I love and cherish every moment of it. \u00a0But I can also get a little overwhelmed \u00a0thinking about all I have set myself to orchestrate and plan and do.\u00a0 The other day, feeling my old, familiar December panic setting in, I confided to a friend that part of me would like to skip this month altogether.<\/p>\n

But that\u2019s not really true.\u00a0 What I want is to fully embrace it instead \u2013 in my own way and at my own pace.\u00a0 Instead of thinking about \u201cproducing\u201d Christmas, I want to align my heart with the soul of solstice. \u00a0Here in the pre-dawn darkness, I am seeing more clearly just \u00a0what \u00a0I wish to cultivate and bring into the light this season. \u00a0Such simple things: \u00a0love, laughter, ease, togetherness, gratitude, hospitality, joy.\u00a0 Perhaps it doesn\u2019t \u00a0have to be hard.\u00a0 Perhaps all I need to do is recreate, in my own mind at least, that long-ago piece of blue paper taped to the refrigerator.\u00a0 \u00a0And then fill it up with stars of goodness.<\/p>\n

How do you<\/strong> honor the soul of the season in your heart? In<\/em>\u00a0your home? \u00a0I would love to know!<\/em>
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One December when our sons were little, I hung a piece of paper painted a deep dark blue in our kitchen.\u00a0 \u201cA sky,\u201d I told them.\u00a0 I painted another piece of paper gold, cut out about a hundred small stars and put them in a basket, along with a glue stick. My hope was to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15183,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[30,5,6,40,46,14],"tags":[118,198,385,388],"class_list":{"0":"post-2819","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-gratitude","8":"category-hearth-home","9":"category-holidays","10":"category-mindfulness","11":"category-simplicity","12":"category-soul-work","13":"tag-christmas","14":"tag-gratitude-2","15":"tag-solstice","16":"tag-soul","17":"entry"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/600x600.png?fit=600%2C600","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2819","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2819"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2819\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15183"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2819"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2819"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2819"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}