{"id":2654,"date":"2013-10-30T22:54:32","date_gmt":"2013-10-31T02:54:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.katrinakenison.com\/?p=2654"},"modified":"2013-10-30T22:54:32","modified_gmt":"2013-10-31T02:54:32","slug":"change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/change\/","title":{"rendered":"Change"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Grace\"I<\/span>\u2019ve been paying close attention to the weather lately.\u00a0 Over the last few days, frost has claimed the last of the nasturtiums outside the kitchen door.\u00a0 The maple tree, as of yesterday, is bare, save for two golden leaves stubbornly clinging.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe leaves fell so much earlier than usual this year,\u201d I\u2019ve been saying to my husband, as if we’ve been deprived of something; an extra week of gazing at them perhaps.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s gotten colder sooner.\u201d\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t believe me, but I\u2019m pretty sure I\u2019m right.<\/p>\n

And then it occurs to me:\u00a0 I have a record.<\/p>\n

I<\/span>t was just a year ago that two young filmmakers from Boston drove up to our house in New Hampshire to shoot the book trailer<\/strong><\/a> for Magical Journey<\/strong><\/a>.\u00a0 I was watching the weather pretty closely that week, too, worried it would be freezing by the time we finally had a shot list together and that late October would prove too stark and wintry to allow for the kind of carefree outdoor moments I\u2019d been envisioning.<\/p>\n

I haven\u2019t watched the video myself for a year, not since the day I okayed the final cut and sent it off to my publisher to post on YouTube, with fingers crossed that it might inspire a few book sales.\u00a0 Perhaps some movie stars get used to seeing themselves on film or hearing the sound of their own recorded voices, but I doubt I ever will.\u00a0 It\u2019s easier not to look.<\/p>\n

A year ago, making a book trailer was just another item on my pre-publication to-do list, one more thing to worry about getting right and submitting by the deadline.\u00a0\u00a0 This morning though, aware of all that\u2019s changed since we spent a day filming footage for a three-minute movie, I clicked on the link<\/strong> <\/a>and allowed myself a different kind of magical journey: a short trip back in time.<\/p>\n

I<\/span> have no idea if this brief excerpt ever moved anyone to buy a copy of my book. \u00a0Unlike the video I made for The Gift of an Ordinary Day<\/strong><\/a>, which surprised everyone by going viral — with well over 2 million views despite its nearly 8-minute length –this one has had a far smaller audience.\u00a0 But I have to admit: sales or not, I\u2019m grateful now for one October day in my life that was not only lived, but captured for eternity.<\/p>\n

Watching the film<\/strong><\/a> that resulted from that day of shooting, I\u2019m reminded once again of something I know deep in my heart to be true: it is the ordinary stuff of life that is most precious \u2013 the light through the kitchen window, a walk in the woods with a friend, tossing a ball for a beloved dog to catch, raking leaves into a fragrant pile, a chat over a cup of tea, a son\u2019s quick kiss on his way out the door.<\/p>\n

As I type these words, I can\u2019t help but marvel at how relentless change is. \u00a0How inevitable, how eternal, how unpredictable. I think of our two sons, each of them living now in distant states and following paths neither could have foreseen a year ago.\u00a0 They check in, have been texting with their dad during the World Series games, ask us to send a few things \u00a0from home.\u00a0 But the ties that bind are lengthening, stretching, and growing thinner all the time.\u00a0 Change propels us forward, urging us to unfold, to grow, to risk.\u00a0 Change separates us, too, demanding that we release our hold on what\u2019s over.<\/p>\n

And, at the same time, change challenges us to surrender, to accept, to soften into what is.\u00a0 Bright fall days give way to grey winter afternoons.\u00a0 The last leaves finally do drift from the trees. The ground hardens over, the sky darkens, a season ends.<\/p>\n

Our dog Gracie, so eager to show off her fielding skills a year ago, tearing across the yard to snatch a ball out of the air, is thirteen and battling a sudden, advanced cancer.\u00a0 A week ago, we almost lost her.\u00a0 And then to everyone\u2019s astonishment, she rallied, responding to good care, a barrage of drugs, and an enormous gush of love.\u00a0(I always said I\u2019d never cook for a dog.\u00a0 Last night, Gracie had beef stew for dinner, which she lapped — delicately, out of a spoon —\u00a0while lying down on the dining room rug.)<\/p>\n

\u201cWe have to take it day by day,\u201d the kindly veterinarian warned last week as I took notes about her chemo treatments and wrote down what side effects to watch for and the schedule for her pills at home.<\/p>\n

For the time being, she is doing well enough, holding her own.\u00a0 But as I sit next to her on the floor, kissing her nose and feeling with my fingertips to see if the lymph nodes on her neck are shrinking, the words \u201cday by day\u201d assume their own resonance.\u00a0 This, after all, is the way each one of us must approach our lives, appreciating all that we have for as long as we can.\u00a0 Day by day.\u00a0 Hour by hour.\u00a0 Precious moment by precious moment.<\/p>\n

I<\/span> will write more about Gracie.\u00a0 For now, though, I think I\u2019ll simply say this: how glad I am that the need to make a book trailer last fall prompted us to catch our dear, fleet-footed girl on film when she was still healthy and in her prime. \u00a0And how grateful I am for every quiet, pain-free day she is granted now.<\/p>\n

As two fellow dog lovers reminded me last week, \u201cShe will let you know when it\u2019s time to say good-bye.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 I will trust in the truth of that and hope, for her sake and for ours, that we are wise and gracious enough then to let her go.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, for the record, it\u2019s Steve who\u2019s right.\u00a0 The hard frost came and the last of the autumn leaves fell this month just as they did one year ago.\u00a0 It happened \u00a0the very same week, in fact, while the October Hunter\u2019s moon waned in a cold, clear, star-strewn night sky.\u00a0 It is only in my own imagination, faulty and greedy as it is, that I\u2019ve been short-changed — yearning as always for a few more mild hours, another golden day, a little more sweetness, a bit more time.<\/p>\n

\n

News. . .<\/span><\/h3>\n

\"Compose\"<\/p>\n

It is a special pleasure to contribute to a new venture, especially one as elegant and eloquent as the lovely digital magazine Compose.<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0 The second issue, just published, is a treat for anyone who appreciates good writing.\u00a0 It is certainly a treat for me, as I find myself here in the excellent company of some writers who are both dear friends and esteemed colleagues, including Beth Kephart<\/strong><\/a> with an excerpt from her terrific new book Handling the Truth<\/strong><\/a>, and Marion Roach<\/strong><\/a>, who offers some of the best time-management advice for writers<\/strong><\/a> I\u2019ve read anywhere.\u00a0 My own essay, about mean mail (ouch, yes, I\u2019ve gotten some) is here<\/strong><\/a>.\u00a0 Take a look, and then please do share the magazine with your friends.\u00a0 If ever there was a publication deserving of some good word of mouth, this is it!<\/p>\n

Congratulations to Gina Ricks, winner of a signed copy of \u201cReady for Air\u201d<\/strong><\/a> by Kate Hopper.\u00a0 And a heartfelt thanks to all who took time last week to share intimate, moving stories about challenges faced and survived, losses endured, and lessons learned in life\u2019s darkest moments.\u00a0 Your comments touched my heart.\u00a0 If I could have answered every one of them, I would have.\u00a0 Instead, as things turned out, I was making many trips to the vet, nursing our beloved Gracie, and adapting in ways large and small to our own \u201cnew normal.\u201d Meanwhile, you reached out and wrote to one another, offering kindness and compassion and conversation.\u00a0 Thank you, dear readers, for being here and for making all those caring connections in this space.\u00a0 I am honored to share this online \u201chome\u201d with you!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019ve been paying close attention to the weather lately.\u00a0 Over the last few days, frost has claimed the last of the nasturtiums outside the kitchen door.\u00a0 The maple tree, as of yesterday, is bare, save for two golden leaves stubbornly clinging. \u201cThe leaves fell so much earlier than usual this year,\u201d I\u2019ve been saying to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15183,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,22,30,33,37,14,15],"tags":[115,131,275],"class_list":{"0":"post-2654","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-acceptance","8":"category-change","9":"category-gratitude","10":"category-impermanence-soul-work","11":"category-magical-journey","12":"category-soul-work","13":"category-writing-and-reading","14":"tag-change-2","15":"tag-compose","16":"tag-magical-journey","17":"entry"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/600x600.png?fit=600%2C600","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2654","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2654"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2654\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15183"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2654"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2654"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2654"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}