Every month, my neighbor Debbie brings me her copy of \u201cYoga Journal\u201d after she\u2019s read it.\u00a0 This small gesture is one of so many kindnesses that Debbie extends to me that, I\u2019m embarrassed to admit, sometimes I don\u2019t even remember to say \u201cthank you.\u201d<\/p>\n
Among other things, Debbie entertains our dog Gracie for a few hours a day, fills our bird feeder when it\u2019s empty, waters my houseplants when I go away, sweeps our garage, brings me inspiring quotes to read and a still-warm croissant from the bakery, just because.<\/p>\n
Sometimes I also forget that Debbie lives with chronic pain, the debilitating after-effects of her near-fatal bout with e.coli nearly ten years ago.\u00a0 Debbie doesn\u2019t talk much about her health.\u00a0 She\u2019s an expert at deflecting that mundane question, \u201cHow are you?\u201d Only when I notice that she\u2019s walking more slowly than usual, or bending down on one knee to rest, does it occur to me–she\u2019s not mentioning it, but physically she feels lousy.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t think that I\u2019m totally oblivious; it\u2019s more that Debbie is so focused out, and she does such a good job of taking care of the people and animals in her life, that I don\u2019t always notice what else is going on–namely, that she\u2019s hurting.\u00a0 One thing I\u2019ve begun to see however, is that giving to others is Debbie\u2019s way of taking her mind off her own discomfort.<\/p>\n
A couple of weeks ago, while paging through the most recent issue of “Yoga Journal” one night, I came across a review of a book called \u201c29 Gifts.\u201d Author Cami Walker\u00a0 had spiraled into a depression after she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis.\u00a0 Two years later–angry, alone, and addicted to pain killers–she was advised by a South African healer to give something away every day for 29 days.\u00a0 The gifts didn\u2019t have to be large, or even material, he explained, but they did need to be offered with love, and consciousness.\u00a0 For Walker, this simple practice was transformational, the first steps on her own healing journey.<\/p>\n
The idea of giving a small unexpected gift each day during the month of December was so appealing that I decided to give it a try.\u00a0 The next day, December 1, I bought a couple of chocolate Santas, just so I wouldn\u2019t go into the exercise empty-handed.\u00a0 And then, without much more thought than that, I began. The gifts I\u2019ve given over the last few weeks are nothing special really — a box of treats mailed to a son at school, a vintage copy of \u201cHeidi\u201d sent to a friend\u2019s nine-year-old daughter, homemade granola to neighbors, candy to a niece and nephew, a letter written to someone feeling low, a pint of Ben & Jerrry\u2019s Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream to Debbie. . .<\/p>\n
But being on the lookout for gift-giving opportunities has subtly changed the way I move through my days.\u00a0 Giving, oddly enough, creates a sense of abundance.\u00a0 It\u2019s fun.\u00a0 And it\u2019s also sort of magical. Taking an extra moment to make eye contact and say something kind to a shopkeeper or a waiter, I get the gift of their response in return.\u00a0 Calling an old friend to say hello, I get the gift of their surprise and pleasure on the other end of the line.\u00a0 Offering dinner to friends, I receive the gift of their appreciation. \u00a0Meanwhile, I notice a fresh energy in my life. \u00a0A few days ago, an odd, long-out-of-print book arrived in the mail, specially ordered for me by a friend in Minnesota because he knew that it would make me laugh.\u00a0 Gifts are flowing both ways.<\/p>\n
During this Christmas season, as we choose presents for our loved ones, we\u2019re reminded that it\u2019s not really the gift itself, but rather the act of giving that makes the world a brighter place.\u00a0 Giving to others, we can\u2019t help but be more aware of the abundance in our own lives.\u00a0 Gratitude bubbles up. And joy.\u00a0 And pretty soon we realize that we don\u2019t need a holiday to inspire generosity.\u00a0 We can give just for the simple pleasure of bringing a smile to someone\u2019s face, or bringing a little more love into the world.<\/p>\n
Eighteen days into my month of giving, I think I\u2019m coming to understand Debbie a bit better. \u00a0 Giving and doing for others is her spiritual practice. It is a decision she makes, day by day and moment by moment, to choose gratitude over self-pity, generosity over pain, light over darkness.\u00a0 She\u2019s a great teacher.\u00a0 And I\u2019m learning.<\/p>\n
(By the way, although you don\u2019t need to read a book to begin a practice of giving, Cami Walker\u2019s book, \u201c29 Gifts,\u201d is a lovely gift in itself.)<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
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