{"id":14726,"date":"2016-11-10T11:04:46","date_gmt":"2016-11-10T16:04:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.katrinakenison.com\/?p=14726"},"modified":"2016-11-10T11:04:46","modified_gmt":"2016-11-10T16:04:46","slug":"choosing-love-fear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/choosing-love-fear\/","title":{"rendered":"choosing love over fear"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"img_1151-1\"\u201cThe world is violent and mercurial \u2014 it will have its way with you. We are saved only by love \u2014 love for each other and the love that we pour into the art we feel compelled to share: being a parent; being a writer; being a painter; being a friend. We live in a perpetually burning building, and what we must save from it, all the time, is love.\u201d \u00a0 ~ Tennesee Williams<\/em><\/p>\n

I<\/span> wonder what would happen if we were all to commit ourselves, over these next months, to small gestures of love, healing, and reconciliation? Would the national mood of distrust and divisiveness change for the better?<\/p>\n

What would happen if we took our cues from the graceful, forceful words spoken yesterday by Hillary Clinton and President Obama, and by the President-elect as well,\u00a0all of whom encouraged \u00a0Americans to come together now, and to do whatever we can, wherever we are, to repair our torn social fabric?<\/p>\n

What would happen if those of us who grieved the results of this election chose today, and in the days ahead, to transform that grief into renewed determination — determination to create a kinder, safer, more tolerant country, one in which to be a citizen means to uphold our deepest national values of freedom and dignity and respect for all Americans?<\/p>\n

What if we were to stake out this small territory as our first patch of common ground: a respect for our imperfect yet precious democracy, manifested by an insistence,\u00a0from\u00a0both sides, that\u00a0the\u00a0President-elect \u00a0 \u00a0start making good, right now, on his election-eve promise to reunite the country?\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"img_1078-1\"O<\/span>ver the weekend, after posting a blog essay<\/strong><\/a> urging women who were considering sitting out the election to vote for Hillary Clinton, I received a number of comments from readers who told me I should not write about politics or even voice a political opinion. I posted all of them, the ones left\u00a0here and those on Facebook as well, with the exception of one graphic and obscene insult. \u00a0This morning, as I consider my own path forward, I\u2019m also thinking about how to respond to those messages. There were long-time readers\u00a0who canceled their subscriptions to my blog, done with me because I was\u00a0voting differently. Others wrote to let me know I should keep my thoughts to myself, and some wrote to denounce Hillary Clinton as a criminal and to express shock that I would support her.<\/p>\n

Politics is never going to be my beat. Frankly, I’d much rather share a beautiful photo from my daily walk, or words that capture the wonder of some seemingly insignificant moment, or a reflection about how hard it can be to surrender with grace to events not of our choosing.<\/p>\n

My own daily life is my theme, with all its ups and downs, and I write about it here not because it\u2019s \u201cmine\u201d but because, in the writing, I find a way to connect not only with my own better self, but with you. Together, we celebrate the goodness of all<\/em> our ordinary lives and the things that really matter: gratitude, tenderness, acceptance, care.<\/p>\n

I write as a way of addressing life\u2019s inevitable challenges and transforming them, with quiet attention, from problems to be surmounted into opportunities for growth.<\/p>\n

But there was no way to keep politics separate from life during these last difficult months. There was no way for me not to be affected and appalled\u00a0by threats of violence, of walls to be erected and international agreements to be broken, of religious tests and mass deportations, and callous boasts about grabbing and assaulting women. I worry about any<\/em> leader who dismisses climate change as a hoax, \u00a0who wants sovereignty over women’s bodies, \u00a0who denigrates those who are different, \u00a0who views our country\u2019s need\u00a0for gun control as a conspiracy against Second Amendment rights. These are issues I care about. They do affect my life, as they do all our lives.<\/p>\n

T<\/span>o me, to most Americans, it does indeed feel as if there is a great deal at stake in our country. That there are differences of opinion about how to solve some of our\u00a0intractable problems is a given. What is not a given, however, is the manner in which we express and respond to these differences. We can choose to close our ears and our hearts to those who disagree with us. Or we can make an attempt to stand in someone else\u2019s shoes and to see the world through another\u2019s eyes. This is the definition of empathy.<\/p>\n

Without apology or excuse, I do make a stand for empathy. And, whether you voted for Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton or another candidate on Tuesday, I invite anyone reading these words to join me. I would like to believe that \u201cempathy\u201d is a value we can all get behind. It’s a path we must begin to\u00a0travel together. \u00a0I would like to believe that empathy could be our second patch of common ground — \u00a0or rather, common humanity. Empathy\u00a0is a choice each and every one of us can make as we go about our lives, as we interact with people who look different, who love different, who act different, who worship gods other than our own, who hold different views and who make different choices based on those views. Empathy isn\u2019t about changing minds. Empathy is about opening hearts. It’s about choosing love over fear, moment to moment, word by word, deed by deed.<\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t planning to write a blog post this morning. My breakfast dishes are still on the counter, I have work to do, and a bookstore reading tonight to prepare for. But when I opened my email a little while ago, I found one new comment<\/strong> <\/a>on my blog from last week, from a woman who wanted space there to celebrate Donald Trump\u2019s victory. I could have chosen not to approve it, but that didn\u2019t feel like empathy to me. And so I posted it, and then I answered it. And one thing led to another. So here we are.<\/p>\n

To those who said \u201cstick to writing about parenting and family life,\u201d I hear you. Those are subjects dear to my heart. But life is large and complex and the matters we must wrestle with aren\u2019t easily kept in separate boxes. I do believe this, though: we\u2019re all in it together. Today many of us are grieving. \u00a0Others are relieved. But my guess is that almost all of us are scared. \u00a0And there is room here for all of us. Love or fear?<\/p>\n

\n

moments of seeing: reflections from an ordinary life<\/span><\/h4>\n

\"mos_cover_final\"Finished copies of\u00a0Moments of Seeing<\/strong>\u00a0are available and I’m excited to share it with you.
\nIf you’d like to purchase a signed copy,\u00a0click here<\/a><\/strong>. \u00a0(Buy 4, and your shipping is free!)<\/p>\n

\u00a0READINGS<\/strong>:<\/p>\n

New Hampshire friends, I’ll be at the lovely Water Street Bookstore<\/strong><\/a> in Exeter at 7 pm tonight, Nov. 10.<\/p>\n

And on Sunday afternoon, Nov. 13, I return to my old hometown, Winchester, MA, to read\u00a0\u00a0at Book Ends<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n

For info about these and other events, click here<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cThe world is violent and mercurial \u2014 it will have its way with you. We are saved only by love \u2014 love for each other and the love that we pour into the art we feel compelled to share: being a parent; being a writer; being a painter; being a friend. We live in a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15183,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,23,24,32,14],"tags":[163,271],"class_list":{"0":"post-14726","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-acceptance","8":"category-compassion","9":"category-connection","10":"category-healing","11":"category-soul-work","12":"tag-empathy","13":"tag-love-over-fear","14":"entry"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/600x600.png?fit=600%2C600","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14726","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14726"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14726\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15183"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14726"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14726"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14726"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}