{"id":14424,"date":"2016-04-19T17:40:00","date_gmt":"2016-04-19T21:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.katrinakenison.com\/?p=14424"},"modified":"2016-04-19T17:40:00","modified_gmt":"2016-04-19T21:40:00","slug":"downsizing-10-things-mom-taught-mothers-day-offer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/downsizing-10-things-mom-taught-mothers-day-offer\/","title":{"rendered":"downsizing, 10 things my mom taught me & a Mother’s Day offer"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"IMG_8557\"I<\/span>n a few weeks my parents will say good-bye to the antique red house\u00a0surrounded by woods and fields that has meant \u201chome\u201d to our family for nearly forty-five years. At eighty and seventy-nine, my folks could have chosen assisted living or even a simple condo for this next chapter of their lives. Instead, in good health and always game for a project, they\u2019ve built themselves a small, fully accessible cottage on a pond just eight minutes from where my husband and I live now. Still, this move calls for a major downsizing.\u00a0And as anyone who’s helped an elderly parent move knows all too well, letting go\u00a0can be tricky emotional territory, for both generations.\"IMG_0433\"<\/p>\n

O<\/span>ur old family homestead is a charming Cape built in 1765, with many original details intact but enhanced by a spacious later addition, designed by my parents and complete with a porch, master suite, spa, and a generous living room. Filled with the antiques and special pieces my mom collected over the decades, each\u00a0nook and cranny of the house is cozy and welcoming and uniquely beautiful. My mother\u2019s special touch is in evidence at every turn\u00a0\u2013 a collection of birds’ nests displayed on an old glass table, a row of white ironstone pitchers on the mantle, a small, antique oil painting propped amongst the gardening books, a wicker chair in a sunny corner.<\/p>\n

The new, small cottage has a different feel altogether \u2013 spare and clean and open, with white walls and simple, modern lines. A few of my parents\u2019 favorite things are making the move with them. Most of their furnishings and possessions, however, either won\u2019t fit or just don\u2019t \u201cgo\u201d in their new, downsized quarters.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_8581\"M<\/span>onths ago, at my parents\u2019 request, my brother and I did a walk-through of our childhood home, looking for things we might want for our own houses, taking measurements and promising my parents we\u2019d get back to them with our lists. I don\u2019t know about my brother and his wife, but Steve and I found it hard to return to our own fully furnished house and see places where a mahogany table or an old pine bookcase might fit. I stuck my list of \u201cpossibles\u201d in a file folder and let it sit there.<\/p>\n

Now, though, the time of reckoning has arrived. On Sunday Steve and I spent the morning helping my dad do one last spring clean-up in the yard. My mom, who\u2019s been busy packing boxes for days, was eager for me to start relieving her of the some of the things I\u2019d told her I might want. She handed me an empty box and suggested I begin filling it. “Whatever you\u00a0kids don\u2019t take,” she warned, “will become part of the estate sale.”<\/p>\n

\"IMG_8575\"L<\/span>ast week there was an article making the rounds on Facebook titled \u201cMemo to Parents: Your Adult Kids Don\u2019t Want Your Stuff.\u201d<\/strong><\/a> It did strike a chord. As it happens, I find myself stuck right in the middle of this dilemma \u2013 already hopefully stashing kids\u2019 toys, old dishes and flatware, and a perfectly good kitchen table in a rented storage space for our own young adult children, just as my parents are hoping we<\/em> will step up now and relieve them of some of their <\/em>furnishings.<\/p>\n

Of course, in the big-picture view of things this is not a terrible problem to have. My parents are of sound mind and body. They are not going against their will into a nursing home but joyfully (though not without some tears and hard moments) into a small, new home that suits their needs now. They can decide for themselves what to bring\u00a0and what to leave behind.<\/p>\n

And then there\u2019s this: I adore my mom\u2019s taste. As a little girl, I loved our Sunday mornings spent in search of treasures at the flea market, our leisurely road trips to New England antiques stores, the long summer days we\u2019d spend together at country auctions and estate sales, eating donuts and waiting for a particular rocking chair or serving platter to be held aloft. My mother\u2019s aesthetic shaped mine.\u00a0Or perhaps we developed a certain style together, by virtue of all those enjoyable hours spent looking and pondering and choosing. She always was my best friend and we\u2019ve almost always seen eye to eye.<\/p>\n

\"IMG_7775\"G<\/span>rowing up, I watched our quirky old house take shape over time, piece by carefully chosen piece. I saw how every faded rug or wooden shingle or china bird figurine\u00a0my mother\u00a0added brought character and charm to a room. In high school the first piece of furniture I bought with my own money was an antique birds-eye maple dresser I spotted for sale outside someone\u2019s garage. I knew my mom would think it was as beautiful as I did. It\u2019s the dresser that sits in my bedroom now, nearly forty years later. Little wonder then that these days, as I help her shop for a rug for her new living room and pick fabric for the window seat, we are still drawn immediately to the same things. \u201cYes,\u201d we say in unison. \u201cThis is perfect.\u201d<\/p>\n

And so the hard part here is not that I don\u2019t want my mom\u2019s stuff. It\u2019s that I have a house that\u2019s already full — full of things that are just like hers. Still. I\u2019m looking around again. The rug my grandmother hooked by hand will look lovely in the guest room. There\u2019s a place for the bookcase after all. The small gold- framed mirror will go somewhere. I\u2019m making room.<\/p>\n

\"FullSizeRender\"I<\/span>n the meantime, knowing I don’t have space\u00a0for very many of the beautiful things my mom has collected over the years, I\u2019m thinking instead of the gifts she\u2019s given me that take up no room whatsoever \u2013 the lessons she\u2019s taught me by example that have shaped me into the person I became. Here, the ten that come immediately to mind:<\/p>\n

Ten Lessons I Learned from My Mom<\/strong><\/p>\n

How to have faith in my kids — even when they don\u2019t have faith in themselves.<\/p>\n

How to pick my battles \u2013 and how to let go of the small stuff.<\/p>\n

How to listen well — even when I\u2019d rather be talking.<\/p>\n

How to find joy in simple things and to see beauty in the details.<\/p>\n

How to put family first.<\/p>\n

How to make a house a home.<\/p>\n

How to prepare Thanksgiving dinner for 35 people and make it look easy. (I have yet to road-test this one.)<\/p>\n

How to make everyone who walks through the door feel welcome.<\/p>\n

How to forgive.<\/p>\n

How to grow old with grace and good humor.<\/p>\n

Mother\u2019s Day is around the corner. If you\u2019re lucky enough to still have your mother, or if there\u2019s a woman in your life who has ever offered you a kind maternal hand, let her know how grateful you are. Mother\u2019s Day is the perfect time to forgive your mom for being flawed and to celebrate her for being human. We may have trouble putting our love and our gratitude into words, but actions speak for themselves. (So, my friends, do something nice!)<\/em><\/p>\n

Back by popular demand:\u00a0Once again this year, in honor of Mother\u2019s Day, I\u2019m offering personalized, signed, gift-wrapped copies of all of my books at special discounted rates. Details below.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

And finally this: \u00a0I’ve always wanted to write about my sixteenth\u00a0summer, when my parents grounded me. \u00a0Finally, I did. It’s online here<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0and also on news stands now in the May issue of Family Circle<\/strong> magazine. \u00a0(I just love that Family Circle<\/strong> was willing to publish such a story. Be sure to check out my racy summer of ’75 reading list<\/strong><\/a>, too. What were YOU<\/em> reading\u00a0at 16??)<\/p>\n

\n

books!<\/em>\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

signed, sealed, delivered, they\u2019re yours\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n

\u2013- in time for mother\u2019s day<\/span><\/h3>\n

\"IMG_2078\"Want to order a signed book (or several) for the special moms in your life?<\/strong>\u00a0It’s easy.<\/strong>\u00a0Here\u2019s how:<\/strong><\/p>\n

1.\u00a0Click here<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

(Note: This link will brings you to my own landing\u00a0page on my husband\u2019s website, Earth, Sky & Water.\u00a0 Steve sells beautiful posters, note cards, and laminated nature identification guides. And because his business is already all set up to take online orders and fulfill them quickly, he\u2019s kindly offered to handle this special sale\u00a0for me. While you’re there, feel free to browse his offerings, too!)<\/p>\n

2. Want your book(s) personalized for a special person?\u00a0Send me an email at\u00a0klewers@tds.net.<\/a>\u00a0 Include the book title you’ve ordered, the name for the inscription,\u00a0and\u00a0any special message you’d like me to write.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0If I don\u2019t hear from you via email, I\u2019ll simply sign your\u00a0book(s), gift-wrap them, and have them\u00a0sent to the address specified.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0For Mother\u2019s Day only, I\u2019m offering a\u00a0special price<\/strong>\u00a0that includes free gift-wrap by yours truly.<\/p>\n

5.\u00a0Hurry!<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0Deadline for all orders is Friday, April 29.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In a few weeks my parents will say good-bye to the antique red house\u00a0surrounded by woods and fields that has meant \u201chome\u201d to our family for nearly forty-five years. At eighty and seventy-nine, my folks could have chosen assisted living or even a simple condo for this next chapter of their lives. Instead, in good […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15183,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,22,5,39,14],"tags":[153,262,302],"class_list":{"0":"post-14424","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-aging-2","8":"category-change","9":"category-hearth-home","10":"category-midlife","11":"category-soul-work","12":"tag-downsizing","13":"tag-lessons-my-mom-taught-me","14":"tag-mothers-day","15":"entry"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/600x600.png?fit=600%2C600","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14424","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14424"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14424\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15183"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14424"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14424"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14424"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}