{"id":1256,"date":"2012-11-29T21:08:19","date_gmt":"2012-11-30T02:08:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.katrinakenison.com\/?p=1256"},"modified":"2012-11-29T21:08:19","modified_gmt":"2012-11-30T02:08:19","slug":"oprah-doesnt-want-me-anymore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/oprah-doesnt-want-me-anymore\/","title":{"rendered":"Oprah doesn’t want me anymore"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>I didn\u2019t think it would hurt, to be rejected by a magazine. But, at age 54, I guess I should have learned that it takes a while to recover from unrequited love.<\/p>\n

Apparently, according to the editors at O<\/em>, I should also have my life figured out by now. I should know exactly who I am and what my work is here on this earth. Those thorny questions about meaning and destiny? \u201cBy the time you\u2019re 40 or 42,\u201d said Oprah in last Sunday\u2019s New York Times<\/a>, \u201cyou should have kind of figured that out already.\u201d<\/p>\n

Oprah is not happy about the fact that the average age of her reader is 49. Times are tough at the magazine, which has seen a decline in readers and advertisers since her talk show ended eighteen months ago. And it seems I am part of the problem, one of those aging hangers-on who still want to read articles with substance and depth about women\u2019s health, finances, spirituality and personal fulfillment. Enough already!<\/p>\n

At 58, Oprah is looking around at the rest of us (late) middle-aged women, the ones who came of age seeking and searching right along with her, and wishing we would quietly go away. She wants, she says, to attract women in \u201ctheir 30s or perhaps 20s, to be able to reach people when they are looking to fulfill their destiny.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, I\u2019ve let my mom know she doesn\u2019t need to renew my Oprah<\/em> subscription for Christmas this year. I\u2019ve been faithful, a devoted fan of the magazine since its very first issue. (In fact, I wrote a few articles and essays for O<\/em> in the early years, and have never missed an issue since.) But Oprah\u2019s not one for sentiment, and now she wants to make sure we all get the message: it\u2019s not really a relationship. \u201cUltimately,\u201d she told the Times<\/a>, \u201cyou have to make money, because you are a business.\u201d<\/p>\n

I get that. But still, in an unexpected way, it was painful to learn that my age makes me not only invisible but undesirable. And I\u2019m certainly not going to moon around where I\u2019m no longer wanted or appreciated for who I am: a woman who is still unfinished, still growing and changing, still asking big questions, still seeking and searching and reading.<\/p>\n

The thing is, I\u2019m pretty sure I\u2019m not the only one. My friends and I may not look like a sexy demographic to the powers that be at O<\/em>, but I think we are quite an interesting bunch. As I consider the women I know, I see a remarkable span of challenges and possibilities, from divorce, illness, and financial crises to new careers, revived passions, and ambitious creative endeavors. From thrilling new romantic relationships to adult children in need of support and elderly parents in need of care. From a new ability to say \u201cno\u201d to unwanted demands to renewed commitments to community service, friendships, and family.<\/p>\n

My female friends in their forties and fifties are running companies, writing books, going on pilgrimages, passing the bar exam, recovering from a husband\u2019s sudden death, taking up the cello, selling the family home, taking painting lessons, dealing with chronic illness, volunteering in a community garden, running marathons, taking religious vows. We are also making dinner, experimenting with new wrinkle creams, walking the dog, doing the laundry, going to yoga class, buying groceries and winter coats, reading books.<\/p>\n

And what we all have in common is that the changes of midlife have invited or compelled each and every one of us to reinvent ourselves, to ask those \u201cWho am I?\u201d and \u201cWhat now?\u201d questions all over again, with just as much urgency and wonder as we brought to them in our twenties and thirties.<\/p>\n

The difference is that we know now, in a way we couldn\u2019t have possibly understood then, that time isn\u2019t infinite. We\u2019ve watched friends die, seen neatly ordered lives shattered by loss, close-knit families come unraveled, careers upended in a day. Knowing that my own steps are numbered, that whole chapters of my life have ended, that I\u2019ve already lived more days than I have left ahead of me, I sometimes feel as if everything is up for re-examination, as if all my choices matter more. And yet, I still yearn to find my own true path and walk it \u2013if anything, even more thoughtfully and deliberately than before.<\/p>\n

Which makes me think maybe Oprah\u2019s right after all. \u201cYou\u2019re never going to run out of people who are looking for a more joyful life,\u201d she says. And that is true. But I\u2019ve also learned that life is complex, joy is fleeting, and there are no easy solutions. \u201cLiving my best life\u201d<\/em> these days is as much about being as doing, more about acceptance than pursuit, more about expressing gratitude for what is than about grasping for more. So perhaps I also need to acknowledge that the inspiration I\u2019m looking for now probably isn\u2019t going to be found in the pages of a slick women\u2019s magazine fat with ad pages and geared to thirty-year olds. Maybe, Oprah, I\u2019ve outgrown you, too.<\/p>\n

 <\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I didn\u2019t think it would hurt, to be rejected by a magazine. But, at age 54, I guess I should have learned that it takes a while to recover from unrequited love. Apparently, according to the editors at O, I should also have my life figured out by now. I should know exactly who I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":15183,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,22,39,14],"tags":[115,293,309,315],"class_list":{"0":"post-1256","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-acceptance","8":"category-change","9":"category-midlife","10":"category-soul-work","11":"tag-change-2","12":"tag-middle-age","13":"tag-o","14":"tag-oprah","15":"entry"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/600x600.png?fit=600%2C600","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1256","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1256"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1256\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15183"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1256"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1256"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/katrinakenison.com\/new\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1256"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}