I promised Henry that if he took a job working as a counselor and pianist at a remote music camp this summer, we would figure out some way to get him to the orthodontist every month. This despite the fact that he has one day off a week, the day off happens to be Sunday, and we live three and a half hours away from Sweden, Maine, where he is senior counselor to a cabin full of fourteen-year-old aspiring musicians.
And the fact is, it did take a full sixteen hours to drive to Maine last week, pick up Henry, drive to a dock on the shores of Lake Winnepesaukee, meet the kindly orthodontist who was willing to see my son right on his boat, drive back to Maine, drop Henry off in the woods, turn around and drive home.
I assured Jack that if he wanted to accept an invitation to be an apprentice to a brilliant physical trainer this summer, we’d figure out a way to make it work. This despite the fact that his program runs from 7:30 am to 4:30 pm Monday through Thursday, and we live two hours away from the studio in downtown Boston where Jack is getting a crash course in anatomy, body work, Chinese meridians, flexibility, resistance stretching, and personality types.
And yes, making it work has meant house-sitting for three weeks in our old neighborhood, and then scrambling among friends to find unused beds and spare keys, parking permits and welcome mats. But the thing I realized this morning, as I awoke on a sway-backed pull-out couch in a friend’s borrowed Harvard Square apartment, is that I will never again be called upon to perform the jobs I’m doing these days–acting as chauffeur and room mate to my two sons. The braces will come off at last. We will break down and get another car. Apartments will be sublet for summer jobs. The kids will find their own way.
In fact, both of them are really doing that already. All I’m providing here is a helping hand, easing the logistics in enterprises that are very much their own doing. I guess that’s why, despite a few inconveniences, I feel grateful to be needed, and why I am treasuring every moment of this unusually rootless summer. Why a lobster roll on the dock and a few hours with Henry in the car was reward enough for the long drive to Maine and back. Why every game of Bananagrams or early morning conversation or stroll through Harvard Square with Jack feels special. Why I don’t mind at all the fact that I am living out of an L. L. Bean bag in Cambridge this week, instead of at home in my own house.
Soon enough, this summer will end. The only thing I know for sure about next summer is that it will be different. And so I say “yes” to really long drives, to strange beds, and to doing what ever it takes to make things work for right now.
I love how you take what could be just plain grueling and make it fun for you, mostly and more or less… fueled by that awareness of the fleetingness of time it sounds like you’re having a perfect summer, in your own way. It also makes me more deeply appreciate the very fleeting way in which everything for my boys seems to be orbiting within minutes of my house this summer.
What a lovely reminder that, as we try our hardest to rush through these taxing experiences, there are sweet rewards contained within. I know I am certainly guilty of wishing the "negative" stuff of life away without examining the gifts they offer: your story reminds me that this time of life is fleeting. As I sit in my sweltering house today, cursing the 100 degree heat and humidity and wondering why I have to be eight months pregnant right now, I’ll try to remember that in six weeks I’ll be mourning the loss of this finite time of my life, wondering why I ever wished it away.
Oh, and that photo of Henry is priceless!
saying yes. embracing the end. treasuring the moment. your words are healing balm for my soul. thank you for your magic.
Oh my, I LOVE this photo! It’s just hilarious – and a real sign of your love. I think the role, of saying "yes, we’ll make it work," is one of the most important for parents. It shows your kids how much you love them, it encourage them to pursue their dreams, and it demonstrates an important life skill. Finding a solution, figuring out "what would it take?" and creatively making it work – that is important for all of us.
Yes to making things work–Amen!
Forgot to add–I recently created something I feel speaks to what you’ve written here in "Logistics". Saying "Yes" is at its core, going with the flow, doing what needs to be done. http://doughnutdreams.blogspot.com/2010/07/okay-doughnut.html
Thank you for the ways you remind us!
The picture sucked me in! I had to immediately know what this post was about. 🙂
I love the idea of just saying yes. Working out later, but saying yes to great opportunities. Just today Isaac was telling me how he knows I’ll always have a dog, because I’ll be so sad and lonely once the chaos of our house full of kids is over. He sees, even as a 14 year old, how I thrive on being their mom.
Summer is such a unique time, so many opportunities present themselves, situations change on a dime. It is good to be reminded to roll with the punches and remember to smile.
Lovely post, my friend. As always.
Judy
justonefoot.blogspot.com
Having the wherewithal and energy to say "yes, we will figure something out" each time my children needed my help in finding a "creative solution" has been one of the most joyous parts of parenting them. I find that the time spent with them on these journeys lends itself to glimpses of them that I would have otherwise missed, as well as a sense that together we can overcome any obstacles that might appear long the way. Watching them make decisions and finding options that have allowed them to take advantage of opportunities in their lives fills me with pride and happiness. Have no fear, Katrina, we will always be needed in some way, and each passing season will present new scenarios that will require creativity and experience. Bring them on!
We’ll make it work. Lately, I find myself saying this not to my kids (ok I say it to them all the time, who am I kidding? Wrestling for 4 hours a day? SURE! Scout meetings 20 minutes after wrestling without dinner? We’ll figure it out…) but to my parents. And that has been a bizarre role-reversal for me. I think I’ve learned a lot about patience and making it work… and saying YES as a parent. A lot of our parenting life is full of saying No – a while back I tackled any automatic no response "Can I go to the park with M?" At one time I would have probably blurted out no without really considering it. Now I’m doing BETTER at saying Yes. It’s tough, though.