You take a step forward, and another, still not sure you’re on the right road. And yet, there is something deep inside you urging, this way. The child-in-you is afraid. You look around for confirmation, for some wiser, older “adult” kind of person to nod “yes.” If only someone else would fall into step beside you, someone who could take your hand and tell you who you really are and where you’re meant to go. Instead, every morning you wake up and set out once again, a fumbling beginner on the path of awakening.
The road is full of travelers. (You think: Does everyone else have this all figured out? Am I the only one who’s lost?) You can – and do — follow in another’s footsteps for a while. But ultimately, you have to find your own way. This life, this trail through the wilderness, is a creative journey: your own. It’s full of unknowns; no map or guide is going to tell you what’s around the next corner. All you know for sure is that the view isn’t ever quite what you expected. The plans you make? No guarantees, no promises.
And so you have no choice but to proceed on faith. Little by little you learn to trust: the murmurings of your own heart, the wisdom in your own two feet, the forces at work in the world that are larger than you. What you need, you have. What you want changes moment to moment.
Road-weary, you begin to let go of the wanting and the craving. You move more slowly, more quietly – taking time to listen, to look, to wonder. Befriending the silence, you turn away from the chattering voices in your head. You see into the depths of things. And what you come to understand, as your pace slows and your heart opens, is that not all desires need to be met. That there is a kind of beauty in accepting yourself as you are, your life as it is, the path you are already on.
Once you slip through the net of your own fears, there is mystery in every step. Out here, in the open space between the “yes” and the “no” of judgment, you discover the treasure that’s been yours all along: your life is filled with grace. You stand still for a moment, overcome by the shock of it. You weep. You look around, through new eyes, and are suddenly filled with compassion for all those who are walking ahead of you, behind you, beside you. There is nothing to do but love them all. There is no other place to be but here. There is nothing to feel but gratitude.
A New Year’s Wish and Benediction
My heartfelt thanks to all of you who have joined me in this space, to read and write and share this magical journey that is everyday life. You are the ones I keep writing for. As long as you keep showing up to read, I will show up, too, deeply grateful for your company. May we continue to travel well together, to support one another along the way, and to celebrate the gift of all our ordinary days. Blessings to you and yours in 2014 and beyond.
(Each New Year’s Eve morning, volunteers in our town painstakingly tape this labyrinth onto the floor of the town hall, creating an exact replica of the famous 13th-century labyrinth at Chartres Cathedral. In silence, townspeople arrive throughout the afternoon, New Year’s Eve, and New Year’s Day, to walk the path and reflect. It has become a special tradition in our family. Yesterday, as I traveled through the labyrinth with my husband and son, I was surprised by the emotions that came up. Such a simple ritual. And yet, so much mystery. So much beauty. So much.)
Katrina, these words landed so rightly in me today. They are so, so beautiful but this is my favorite:
Once you slip through the net of your own fears, there is mystery in every step.
Oh yes, to slip through the net of our fears and to keep walking is true grace. Thank you for providing it so consistently here. Much love to you in the new year!
“There is no other place to be but here.” Amen.
As always, you speak directly to my heart, about things I feel and know but haven’t even been able to articulate. I love that labyrinth. xox
I have been so angry and lost in my own skin today that I didn’t know what else to do, so I lay down on the floor with the dog for a while.
Quite a while.
Then I read your words, and was glad I got up off the floor.
Thank you.
Beautiful. Thank you. Where would someone get a copy of that labyrinth? And what are its dimensions?
You can try the Labyrinth Company. That’s the company I used to get the dimensions for the labyrinth at Angels’ Acres.
Hi Katrina,
I have spent lo these many summers near your town and never heard of this event. (duh, summers!) What a stunning thing! And “our town” is perfect for this… giving off secrets and serenity. I wish I were there to walk this…but I don’t mind missing the 1 degree weather and the blizzard tonight. Today is our only grandchild’s first birthday and her parents are glad they did not have to drive into Brigham and Women’s last year!
I wish you warm and cozy and a world fresh, clean and washed anew tomorrow.
Holly in Klein, TX where it is just cold and damp…
Beautiful words, as always, Katrina. I love labyrinths. I had a chance to walk one at Ghost Ranch, Georgia O’Keeffe’s old stomping grounds, a few years ago, and it was an illuminating experience. I’ve just taken my first — tentative — steps back into writing and blogging after a long absence, after a very hard year, and it is such a lesson on trusting and taking it one day at a time. Happy New Year to you! My word for 2014 is “ease;” wishing you much of that, now and always.
I actually walked this labyrinth on New Year’s Day also. Wonderfully powerful for setting intentions aligned with the New Moon. I am blessed to have a replica nearby at Bon Secours Retreat and Conference Center in Marriottsville, MD. It is magical to walk the labyrinth! I imagine it would be even more so to have so many townspeople doing it together!
Namaste.
I love that your town does this labyrinth – what a cool idea…reflective and solitary but communal at the same time.
Thank you for your words in this space, Katrina – you offer the gifts of peace, hope and love all year long.
Dear Katrina : Blessings to you in 2014. Thank you for sharing your on going journey with grace and compassion. When I first read Mitten Strings, years ago now, I felt seen, heard and not alone. And with Magical Journey – the same connection. Today, beginning the new year, your Labyrinth post has touched my heart. Thank you for putting into words the sensations of walking this Labyrinth Life. Many blessings to you.
Katrina,
Thanks always for sharing such powerful words. They are a constant gift to us!
Blessings to you and yours in this new year!
As always, your words slip onto my shoulders with a comforting warmth on this cold, cold morning.
You, Katrina, are a gift to me. Reading your words (here and in your books) inspires me to slow down, to pause, to breathe, and to look for beauty in all things. If I had to choose a word for 2014 it would be “pause”. Your words help me do that and I am grateful. For your words. And for you.
Katrina~
My heart jumps a little every time I see you in my inbox. Your gift of putting words to my feelings is beyond what I can describe to you. I honor the gentleness of your soul and consider having you in my life a tremendous gift. Every time I see your books in the various places of my home, I feel like I live with a soul mate. Many blessings to you and your family in the New Year — and my prayer for myself is to see you in my inbox every week! 🙂
I was waiting to hear words of wisdom from you and again, you do not disappoint. How wonderful to hear of Henry’s good fortune! When I started reading your books, my son was beginning the process of music auditions for college. I thought how interesting, we are on similar paths with our children. Who knew then, where life’s path would take us. My son is a senior this year, and through pitfalls and transferring schools, decided to continue on the music track. Where life will lead him, I do not know. I hope that like the Ghibran poem, he, too, will fly. There is also a labrynth in our little town in a local park. Every once in awhile my friend and I take advantage of it. It makes you think as you walk along, where you’ve been, where you’re going, and the joy of the journey itself can bring. A healthy and happy New Year to you and your family.
You sounded so content and made me want to walk the Labrinyth! It is a beautiful, prayerful meditation to do in the summertime as well! We have an outdoor one near our home, it is actually a private home that they open up to the community! It is gorgeous and you walk down this paved path to it … They also have a heart shaped one as well!!! I love your writings! Congratulations to Henry and his life long dream to go back …. To Broadway!
Blessings on you and your family this year. Congratulations to Henry on his success. A wonderful testament to pursuing a dream and a great lesson from one so young to those of us much older. I had never heard of walking a labrinyth – it sounds intriguing. I shall research the possiblity of finding one nearby and if not, perhaps creating one ….. I am back at work after having Christmas day and the next days off. There was just my husband and me (and our doted on dog!) this year and it was a wonderful time of reflection, planning and dreaming together. In the past I would have focused on what (or rather who) we didn’t have here but, partly thanks to your writing, I focused on how blessed we really are and it was a delightful respite allowing me to come back to work refreshed and invigorated for the new year and the challenges we know lie ahead. Here in Australia it is mid-summer – the sun is streaming through the windows and there is cricket on the radio. Delightful.
” And what you come to understand, as your pace slows and your heart opens, is that not all desires need to be met. ” Yes. There is peace in that. Thank you and Happy New Year, Katrina.
Katrina,
I discovered you this year and what a difference you have made in my life. Such beauty of words, insight and expression. You speak directily to my soul.
Come walk the Peace Labyrinth at Angels’ Acres. http://www.angelsacres.com